Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Long Time No Post (Work, Penguins and Steelers Oh My!)

Well damn, it's been a while since I have posted anything I don't even know where to start. I am a manager of a Hollister and let me tell you something, the holiday season blows. People will literally fuck you up if you screw with them shopping. I have spoken to more ignorant rude obnoxious people in the span of a month and a half than over the course of my first 23 years of life. The vast majority of people who shop at my store are actually very nice. It's just with there being 10 times as much foot traffic in a day that means ten times the douchebags who ruin lives also decide to make the trek into Hollister and cause a ruckus in any way possible, making my life a nightmare. So, you may now realize why I have not written anything in a while as I have been quite busy and stressed out. Out of this I do have some pretty good stories which I may choose to share at a later date.



So, The Penguins are shitting themselves as of late. Here is my proposition.

1. Quit switching up the lines, in a team where chemistry has been a weak spot (minus the Staal, Cooke, Kennedy combo before he got hurt) switching them up just as things get rolling will not help.

2. Shoot the fucking puck.

3. Get rid of Satan and Ryan Shitney and pick up a winger to ink long term to play beside Crosby. Satan, is not playing bad but lets face it he doesn't have the connection with Sid that there needs to be to have a great first line. Both Goligoski and Letang have been playing well, since Shitney has come back into the lineup our powerplay has seem to have gotten worse. He's a bum, he needs traded.

4. Give every single player, minus Malkin, Sid, Staal, Cooke, Dupuis and Wallace a swift and steady kick in the genitalia. They are all playing like they don't give a shit.

5. Someone get into a fucking fight will ya? I feel like no one fights anymore. Granted I miss a game here and there for work, but it just seems in a close game like the one against Montreal someone should have dropped the gloves gained a little momentum and we could feed off of it. I really miss big Georges and Ruutu right about now.

6. Lastly, send Fluery somewhere to learn basic goaltending. The man makes some of the most insane saves of all time but he lets and average shot from the blueline in the back of the net to lose a game. He does that 5 times a year and that could be the difference between a division title and being out of the playoffs all together in a close Eastern Conference.



Now on to the Steelers. It's playoff time baby. I think that we are going to see a great year in the NFL playoffs this year. There are no teams that are so dominant that they will just storm through the playoffs uncontested. Steelers have as good of a shot as anyone to take home another super bowl trophy.

Trick's Keys to A Steeler Super Bowl win:

1. Big Ben needs to be smart with the football. He is trying to force the issue waaaaay too much. If he eats the ball and runs for 2 or 3 yards a couple times a game instead of taking a sack or throwing a pick we would see a different team.

2. Run the fucking football. Lets face it, as a manager of the game Ben is great, he controls a drive and seeing all of the 4th quarter heroics I like it when the ball is in his hands. He is just not a fantastic passer. Short passes to ward and miller are the way to go but throwing it as much as we do is just not steeler football. Parker and moore can run, give it to them a little more, balance the attack. Oh yeah and put a fucking full back in the backfield, this 3 tight end shit is silly.

3. Rest up during the bye, get harrison, ben and any other banged up player especially on the defence ready to go. By the way things are going it looks like the Colts and Baltimore will make it through to the next round, which puts the steelers against the colts. We need everyone on defence to be 100%.

4. Get ahead early. When teams have to play from behind in the playoffs it gets rough. If we get an early lead, the opposing team takes more risks and risking anything against the leagues number one D is not a good call.

5. Lastly, rattle the opposing teams QB. Remember in the super bowl run when we beat indy? It was because Peyton Manning was rattled and made poor decisions. Harrison and Woodley need to do just that.


Threre you have it. I will be going the the Steelers first playoff game. I have yet to go to a playoff football game in my life so this gives me an erection. Hopefully I can get some more posts for you guys soon. Hope everyone had a good holiday season. Peace.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Xbox/Microsoft can suck it and UFC 92

Now by most accounts I'm a pretty laid back guy. I know I can be quite bitter at times but generally I don't get angry, unless the Steelers/Florida State lose and so on....

However, that all changed when my Xbox 360 recently decided to take a shit on me.

Here's what happened. Something with my AV connection is no longer working, I'm getting audio but no video. Thinking it was the cables a friend of mine (yes bice I do have friends) let me borrow his. Low and behold that wasn't the problem.

So I placed a call to xbox and they told me that I needed to send it in for repairs. Oh okay no big deal till those fagglers told me I had to pay $100 bucks to send it in. Immediately, my built in bullshit detector went off and mine has a pretty accute sense.

I say to the customer service rep, "Why should I pay $100 for something that isn't my fault?" This is because my warranty ran out in September and it's not that red ring of whatever problem (that's why they extended the warranty). The "technician" then goes to ask her supervisor to waive the $100.

I wait about five minutes and the "technician" says the supervisor says they can't waive the $100 because the warranty ran out.

By this time, I'm livid. Xbox has a track record of shoddy equipment (red ring of death, the dvd player going to hell). I didn't have time to argue with the supervisor because I had some stuff to do but I plan on contacting them soon and I will update you all on what happens.

I'm about this close (bice pulling down his pants close) to selling off all my xbox shit and getting a playstation 3. Hell, my PS2 is eight years old and works just fine. Cheap ass xbox dicks can't stand by their own shitty product.

In other musings, UFC 92 is tomorrow and you all better watch. On paper, this is the best fight card the UFC has produced this year. Two title fights, Forrest Griffin vs. Rashad Evans for the light heavyweight title, Minotauro Nogueira (my favorite fighter) vs. Frank Mir for the "interim" heavyweight title and a good old-fashioned grudge match between Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Wanderlei Silva III.

The winner of the Nog/Mir fight is expected to fight Brock Lesnar (a.k.a. Cock Chestnar).


Notice how his tatoo looks like a penis. Aren't I clever?


In the past two fights, Mr. Silva has put old Rampage to sleep....violently and both fighters have an immense dislike for one another.


Yeah....that's what happened the last time they fought.

My main card predictions: Evans unaminous decison over Griffin, Nogueira third round tko over Mir and Silva third round ko over Rampage, Chieck Kongo second round ko over Mustapha Al-Turk and Mike Massenzio second round submission over C.B. Dollaway.

This is it for now....I'll be back with some BCS/NFL playoff predictions. Hope everyone had a good Christmas.

WAR NOGUEIRA!!!!


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Darkwing Duck: A Live Action Movie

The other day at Supremes my friend, Zack, made the statement that Darkwing Duck was more well known than Batman. My other friend, Paul, made the argument that Batman has been around for over 50 years and has been the focal point of many comic books and movies. Zack said he didn't care and that Darkwing Duck was more recognizable.

I then said that they should make a live-action Darkwing Duck movie to which Zack replied "Yeah if you can find a real duck that can play him." He was dead serious.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Contrary to Bice's belief

I'm not gay.

I give his photoshopping skills credit and that was funny.

However, when he returns from the bastion of liberal failure that is Boston/Massachusetts, I will whip his ass.

Anyways, I haven't updated in forever. I've been busy with other things.

I'll get a bowl preview/prediction post up here before too long and maybe some other musings.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Day Without a Gay!

Wow, It's been a while.......

So many of you may have heard that today is "A Day Without A Gay." Apparently, in order to protest the fact they can't get married, gays from around the country are going to call off work and not go shopping to show how important they are to the economy. I'm guessing that because of this the entire city of Boston will shut down.

Now this is all important because CGO's very own Chris Mckissick will also be joining in the protest.

"I think it's important that gays like myself get the same rights as you "Straighties," said Mckissick in People Magazine. "I someday hope to marry my life partner, Lunch Box."

Well Bones, all your friends here at this rarely updated blog support you but still hope you lose in the first round of Fantasy Football Playoffs.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Sloppy Seconds Anyone?


This is our second installment about the current ongoing drama with Sean Avery.


The NHL announced today that it has suspended Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery for 6 games because of comments that he made this week about his former girlfriends, specifically Elisha Cuthbert.


I've only got one thing to say about this.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?


I have an hour long drive to work everyday and on the way to work today I was thinking about worse things that Avery could have done to get a suspension. Things that would have caused a much bigger problem for the NHL.


Here is a not so short list:

1) He could have made a racial, religious or sexist slur. Think about this. Imagine if he called someone a racial name to the cameras. Or a religious slur. He could have made a comment about homosexuals or lesbians. Or he could have just flat out said that his former girlfriends were either sluts, whores or skanks, which in my opinion is alot worse than making a comment about "sloppy seconds."

2) Avery could have pulled a Marty Mcsorely or Todd Bertuzzi. Is a guy making comments about "sloppy seconds" really as bad as what the two previous goons have done. I shouldn't even have to explain this. What Mcsorely and Bertuzzi did was just god awful and although many hate Avery, he still plays within in the rules to an extent. He is by no means an angel, but he certainly hasn't done somthing like the two above mentioned players. If I was Gary Bettman I would much rather have guys make comments that you could fine than what these two nuts did. Whats worse, explaining to your kids what sloppy seconds are or having to explain why some guy just whacked the head of another player with his stick with an intent to injure?

3) What if he had started a brawl that rolled into the stands (yes I am refering to Ron Artest and the NBA!) This is hard to do in hockey because of the boards that seperate the players and ice from the fans. But in all seriousness this if he had started a brawl with some fans in the stands, that would have been far worse than anything that I have mentioned yet. How do you explain that to your kids? Thankfully I don't have any (that I know of). But imagine the NHL responding to that. I know that Avery has had fueds with fans, especially in Philadelphia, but he hasn't ever thrown a punch at one at the rink. He hasn't attempted to assault a fan at the rink. But other players or coaches have. Just a few nights ago a coach was in an argument with a fan, and I bet that it wouldn't have been to pretty if the NHL had to explain why one of it's coaches assaulted a fan that is in a sense paying the guy's salary.

4)He could have been betting on the game of hockey. This is the worse thing that any player in any sport could do. Imagine if he came out and said "I gamble" or "I bet"? I know that is a poor example because no player would ever come out and say that, but just think about it. Baseball has banned Pete Rose for life. And don't forget that Rose is MLB's alltime hits leader. The NBA just went through a nasty betting scandal with one of it's referees, which may not be over yet if others come forward. This is like the mother of all bad things an athlete could do. If Avery had done any of these things, I could see him getting suspended or worse, kicked out forever.


The bottom line is this. The only reason Avery is suspended for his comments is because he is a guy that speaks his mind and sometimes does things that he probably shouldn't do. I honestly can't confirm what this guy has and hasn't done in his career that would be detrimental to the league or game of hockey. But it's very clear that his history of comments and actions was what got him fined whether he deserved it or not. I used to hate Sean Avery with a passion, but now that he doesn't play for the New York Rangers, I don't mind him as much. Yeah he can be a jerk and yes some of the things that he does aren't good. But last night when I was watching "Inside Edition" they had a piece on the Avery situation and I laughed my ass off. First they blurred (I doubt thats the right term, but I think you all know what I mean) Avery's mouth when he said the SS word. Then they had some reporter with huge jugs go and cover the thing. She wasn't dressed professional and she had no clue what the hell was going on. That is the sign that this was blown out of proportion and is a circus. Don't forget this either. The media is the gatekeeper of what we see and hear and if this was as bad as it is supposed to be, then they should have never let us see it in the first place.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I've Got Avery On My Mind


Sean Avery is at it again. The Dallas Stars forward was suspended before last nights game against Calgary for comments he made to the press.


Here is a quick rundown for those that don't know what is going on. Avery used to date hottie Elisha Cuthbert and now she has broken up with him and has since dated two NHL players the most recent being Calgary Flames defenceman Dion Phaneuf.


His comment was somthing along the lines of "It's become a common thing in the league for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds."


This was obviously a well executed stunt by Avery. But I don't think that it was all that bad for the league. He did make a comment that presents the league in a bad light, but I bet that some people may pay a little more attention to hockey now. Probably not much but maybe a few. It definately won't drive anyone away. It only makes some people hate Avery even more.


I'll admit that it was a crappy comment. Elisha Cuthbert is probably a nice girl and had her feelings hurt. But this is what celebrities do and I am sure she will have a comeback for him.


For the record I never cared much for Avery but he isn't a bad player. If he would just get on the straight and narrow he would be a little better off. And yes, I would take Avery's sloppy seconds any day of the week.

Monday, December 1, 2008

3 Things To Make Hockey Better...

I love hockey. I mean, I really love hockey. Probably more than Bice likes little kids. But anyway the NHL has a real problem.

The problem is that it just isn't as exciting as it could be. Think back to the days (if you are old enough) to when Gretzky and Lemieux were lighting the lamp every night probably two or three times easily. That may be a bit of an exageration, but think about the point totals that we saw in the 1980's and 1990's. While Wayne Gretzky was scoring well over 100 points season after season, the other players were doing the same. Take the 1985-86 season. Gretzky lead the league in scoring with 215 points. We may never see that kind of total ever again, but look at the next four. Lemieux with 141, Coffey with 138, Kurri with 131 and Bossy with 123. Scoring leaders today are lucky to get those totals. Last season Alexander Ovechkin led the league with 112 points.

1) The NHL needs to do somthing to increase scoring. Nobody likes to see games that end 1-0 or 2-1 for that matter. Things need to be like they were back in 1980's and early 1990's, with games ending 6-4 or 8-6 or even 10-9. That would increase intrest and popularity and it would be exciting. Somthing must be done to let the stars of the league score. The goalies are way better these days and their equipment doesn't need to be so big. The NHL could start with that.

2) Each conference should only have 2 divisions. It is rediculous that sometimes the third team that wins a division has the least amount of points than the other 7 teams in the playoffs and another decent team gets left out. This way two division winners would be the top two in the conference and after that the best teams would make out the playoff teams. This is the way it was through the 1980's and most of the 1990's and it worked out well.

3)Some teams need to relocate. This may happen regardless, but it is obvious that the NHL isn't doing well in places like Miami and Nashville. I don't doubt that hockey fans exist in those markets, but unless those teams start selling out arenas, it won't work. Canada needs another team or two. Quebec or Winnipeg would be good places to start and I am willing to bet that Kansas City or Seattle would be lucky to get teams too, but NO EXPANSION. It already hurt the league once, and it cannot happen again. But Canada needs another team or two so I would bet that the teams that could relocate would be the Florida Panthers, Phoenix Coyotes, Nashville Predators and Atlanta Thrashers. They probably all should because nobody goes to games in those cities anyway. If you watched the last Penguins game when they played in Atlanta, you know what I mean...the place was empty.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

College Football's Perfect Solution

We all know that college football needs to have a playoff system. But exactly how should that playoff system work? How many teams would be involved? Well here is my take on what should happen. I think it really would work too.

The first thing that would need to be done, would be for the season to be shortened to 10 games. I think people may think that this is too short, but when you think about it, most college football programs only play about 8 games against teams that are any good. This would eliminate the games against teams from Division I-A that play up. So you would be forced to actually play a decent opponent through the season. You would probably play 8 games against your conference and then play 2 games against non-conference opponents.

So now that we have our 10 game regular season, how do you figure out the playoffs? It's really simple. Take the top 16 teams in the country and be sure to include teams that are unbeaten in this too. It is possible that if you are a team like Utah State or somthing like that you may get left out, but these teams know if they have a legitimate shot at a national championship anyway, so they should schedule against tougher teams so they don't get left outside the top 16. Now for the playoff format.

What would be the best way to do a playoff and still include the major bowl games? It's simple. In the first round you would have the No. 1 team in the country play the No. 16 team in the country and so on. The first round of these games would be in neutral locations. So if you had Pitt playing WVU then maybe the game would be in State College or Baltimore or somthing like that. Remeber it has too be fair. In the next round the final 8 teams would play their 4 games at sites of major bowls. These games would take place at the locations for the Rose, Fiesta, Orange and Sugar Bowls. This would be the best way to keep the major bowls around and still have a playoff. Then of course you would have the National Championship game at a neutral location as well. I don't know if a special stadium would be built for it or if it would be a thing like they do with the Super Bowl and pick a location at the beginning of the season to play it. Either way it would be exciting.

The remaining teams that missed the playoffs would take part in bowl games that would happen around the playoffs. More than likely that wouldn't happen, but it would still mean money for the other schools and bowls that missed the playoff.

Overall it is a good idea. I think it may be the best idea I have heard yet. The bottom line is that a playoff in college football is somthing that we are all hoping for, but won't happen because of the money involved in it for the NCAA. But you can always hope for a better solution...right?

Monday, October 27, 2008

A World Series Debacle


Poor Bud Selig. He just can't escape the bad luck ghost. As much as I dislike the man, he handled the rain situation during game 5 of the World Series as best he could. But this points to the major problem with MLB, and all sports for that matter, and it's decisions leading up to this situation. Baseball game's shouldn't be starting at 8:30pm and we shouldn't have to worry about a World Series ending in November. MLB is doing the right thing in allowing the game to go all 9 innings, but what if it continues to rain in Philadelphia for another two days? What if Tampa Bay all of a sudden comes back and forces a game 7? The series wouldn't end until November and the weather doesn't suit baseball well at all. The bottom line here is very simliar to my post earlier this week when I said baseball needs to shorten the season. Even if it was by only 10 games, it needs to be shortened. Say the MLB season was only 152 games, 10 shorter than the current schedule. That would allow the playoffs to begin sooner and allow everything to move along better and certainly allow the season to be completed before November. But the starting times of games is an even bigger issue. Let's explain this using an example. If you are planning on having a picnic at your home, you obviously aren't going to wait until 8pm to have it, becuase it is way too late to start it. Common sense tells you that your guests wouldn't appreciate it since they have lives to live. Weather also factors in. If you are planning on having it at say, 6pm and the threat of rain may wash it out, you may plan on having it a little earlier, like at 4:30pm or 5pm. What does this have to do with the World Series? Simple. Baseball should move the start of games back to at least 7pm, like during the regualr season. This would help with many things. First of all people would actually be able to watch the entire game, as long as it didnt go to extra innings, without falling asleep or just giving up all together. One thing I hate is having to go to bed knowing I cannot watch the entire game because I have to work in the morning. Plus many kids can't even watch the entire game because of school. I know when I was in junior high and high school I had to be up at 5:45 every morning to catch the bus by 7pm. I was always in bed by 10pm at the latest. Baseball is screwing up bigtime with poor decisions like this. TV doesn't help either. The game is slowly being destroyed by stupid start times and a season that goes too long. Hopefully MLB will realize their mistake and fix it for the future.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Spooky Halloween Killer Clown Special



Since its almost Halloween, I went through my old vault of awesome videos and found a holiday special starring 3 of the Classic Gang's bloggers. This was many years before I knew Stein but Bones dies in it so its worth a watch.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Problem With The Post-season


Hi friends. Remember me, you're old pal Stein? I want to talk about postseason baseball. Actually all postseason sports in general, but we'll get to that. I would like to vent about it. Here is the problem that I see. The season is just too darn long. I mean, if you love baseball this is the best time of year. The playoffs of any sport are the best time of the year because you get to see the best teams compete for the opportunity to play for a championship. I enjoy watching baseball, but if the World Series goes to a game 7 this year, it is going to be in November (I think). The bottom line is that we should have had the World Series decided this week, maybe this weekend at the latest. There is aboslutely no reason that that could happen. All sports are this way. Football, hockey, baseball, basketball, nascar, golf, cricket and even chess all have seasons that go on too long. OK, maybe not cricket and chess, but all the others do.

First of all the NFL season is too long. I like the current 17 week format, but the season should start a little earlier and then eliminate the week off before the Super Bowl. I know what you are all thinking. "Stein you dumb-fuck. Those teams could use a break before the Super Bowl. It's only fair if they have an injury that the player hurt can heal up." Well I guess that is true, but I don't like waiting for two weeks to watchin the fucking game. I wan't to see it right away, and it won't be unfair at all. These teams play every week and get paid millions to do it, so I don't want to hear that bullshit. I would love for the playoffs to be played around Christmas and New Years. Wouldn't it be great to be able to indulge yourself in a football frenzy? College Football bowls and the Wild Card Playoffs all around Christmas time. What a great idea! I know. You can thank me later, but anyway that would be awesome to me and it should be to you too.

Hockey is another sport that has a season that goes too long, but it would face a much harder battle trying to shorten it. It begins in October and doesn't end until June. What a season! I will admit that hockey is my favorite sport, and I love it very much, but I hate watching it when it's 75 degrees out. It also causes problems for the ice that time of year. mid to late May is when it should be decided at the latest. But with so many teams in the playoffs, it would be a tall order to shorten the season and with such a physical playoff to begin with, I think it can't be changed unless the NHL elminates two teams from each conference making it six teams each. That would be the smart thing to do.

Basketball I don't care enough about to analyze, so we'll move on to Baseball. I would like to think that baseball can change, but it never will. Acutally none of these sports ever will, but for the fun of it lets analyze away! Baseball was alot better when they had the season end and then played the LCS. I think that baseball should elminate the divisions they have and divide the teams in each league into two divisions. At seasons end give two days off and then have the best team in each division battle in the LCS, a best of seven. then on to the world series. With this theory the World Series would have been decided about a week or two ago. If baseball wants to stay the same at least play more games in one day than usual. I love the double and even triple headers that were on at the beginning of the playoffs. There is no shame in day games and it give the the games a bit of nostalgia anyway. I like that better. The fact it however that no change is on the way. TV dominates everything and it will only get worse. I'd say the Pirates have a better chance of winning the World Series this year, than any change occuring with these season and playoff formats.

Here is an ESPN.com article written by Jayson Stark that explains the lack of excitement in the World Series...its a good one!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A win or not???


Last night's game versus the hated Ravens wasn't for the faint of heart. You knew this after the first play of the game when Andre Frazier had to leave on a stretcher. We here at Classicgangonly wish the best for Andre and for a speedy recovery.

UPDATE: According to the Post-Gazette, Frazier is alright and could play this Sunday against Jacksonville.

Now onto the game. The first half wasn't too much to write home about. The offense shall we say was anemic. The team shall we say was anemic. Whatever was said in the locker room at the half finally seemed to work.

The offense, under a no-huddle approach, finally came alive. Holy hell it only took six quarters for Arians/Tomlin to finally make adjustments but they worked. Big Ben hit Santonio Holmes from 38 yards out to bring it to a 3 point game. On the ensuing possession LaMarr Woodley recovered a fumble to give the Steelers a 17-13 lead. A Jeff Reed field goal gave the Steelers a touchdown lead with nine minutes left in the fourth quarter.

Joe Flacco (more on him in a bit) led the Ravens down field and on a LeRon McClain (why he didn't carry the ball more is beyond me) two yard touchdown the game was all knotted up at 20-20.

Big Ben's amazing pass to Merwelde Moore set up a Jeff Reed field goal to win it.

Now for some game thoughts.

The reason I titled this a win or not is because Rashard Mendenhall (broken shoulder) and Kendall Simmons (ruptured achilles) are done for the year. Simmons might have been the steadiest player on a very very shaky offensive line. Mendenhall, this year's first round pick, was drafted as an insurance policy to Willie Parker and is very physically gifted player.

Where do they go from here?

According to the Post-Gazette, Najeh "Dump" Davenport is coming back after a thorough tire kicking and Gary Russell is being promoted from the practice squad. Obviously, we saw what happened last year when Davenport was the main man. Russell is a tough runner from what I've seen in the pre-season and Merwelde Moore held his own last night. Hopefully these guys can hold the fort till Willie gets healthy.

Now what worries me is the Steelers now have to travel to Jacksonville. After a very physical battle against the Ravens and on a short week, they have to face the equally as physical Jaguars. I just hope everyone makes it out in one piece (more on this game later in the week).

Joe Flacco actually looks like he can end Baltimore's quarterback black hole. Granted he looked like a rookie at times but after tonight's game he showed me he might actually be able to play. While he's starting for the Ravens, Tyler Palko is working out for the Broncos. Sort of strange how these things work out. I'm lead to believe that Palko was the "Chosen One" and Flacco probably wasn't given a fair shake at Pitt. Unless Flacco was a late-bloomer, I could be wrong on this but it's just a hunch.

In closing, it was real nice to see the team come together and finally make the offensive adjustments that were necessary. However, in the coming weeks it looks like Ben will have to carry the offense on his own.

So was it a win? Taking control of the division is a win. Aside from the injuries, I would say it is just to see that piece of shit Ray Lewis look like this:

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Friday Night Lights is Almost Back. (Kind Of)


Ok, so everyone knows how much I fucking love this show, right? I love it as much as Stein loves men, Trick loves the Pens, and Bones loves beer. That's a lot, especially the Stein loving men. In one week from today FNL will make its triumphant return to television with its long awaited third season. The only problem is I won't be able to watch it since I don't have stupid Direct TV. This is obviously all NBC's fault because if they had put FNL is a good time slot in the first place and had give it a decent amount of advertising, they wouldn't have to worry about low ratings. Jerks. I'll probably just download it as soon as it becomes available.

Recently, a new promo was released by Direct TV and it's super weird. See for yourself.



Yeah, if you hadn't seen the show, you'd probably have no fucking idea whats going on. Also, Gene Wojciechowski did an interview with Zach Gilford, who plays QB1 Matt Saracen. It's definitley worth checking out.


Pens Game Tonight

Nobody has written anything in a long time. I'm going to the Pens game tonight. It's just pre-season, but I'm still excited to go to the game. It should be a good time. It will be a good chance to take a peek at some of the younger guys like Pesonen to so how they look for the upcoming season. Let's Go Pens.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Fantasy Football Update 9/14/2008

Let me just say how terrible the Offensive lines I've been watching today are. Both the Colts and the Rams look like shit. Total shit and its really pissing me off. This especially affects old Joe Addai who also looks like shit with a whopping 4 yards at the half. To make matters worse, Brees is only worth 2.5 points and Ryan "Can't" is only worth 1. God Damn, its going to be a long day.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Preview: Steelers vs. Browns


So the Steelers are set to take on everyone's chic pick to win the AFC North. What all the prognosticators failed to mention that the Browns still have the same problems affecting them as last year. Namely, a shitty defense.

Dallas dispatched the Browns easily last week. Tony Romo, who is said by many to be better than Large Benjamin despite winning exactly dick, torched the Browns secondary for 300 some yards.

What I see happening for the Browns: The Browns won't give the Steeler's shaky line a real test because their pass rush is average. They paid Shaun Rogers all this money to stuff the run. Rogers, who is said to have all the talent in the world, is more or less a fat, lazy pussy. Kamerion Wimbley is the only player worth a damn on their defense (obviously because he's a former Seminole). Their secondary as mentioned before is pretty bad on top of being banged up at safety.

Anderson and company will get their yards and points but this will happen long after the outcome has been decided. Sgt. Winslow and Braylon Edwards will have decent games. Former cocaine peddler, Jamal Lewis, will get a whole lot of nothing. On a tangent here, if any of us got caught setting up cocaine deals via phone we'd be locked up for about five years. This asshole got to spend a summer in a country club prison and was released.

What I see happening for the Steelers: Look for Ben to have his way with this secondary to the tune of 250 yards and at least two scores. Willie will see the 100 yard mark again this week getting a bulk of the carries in the second half to seal the deal. Santonio Holmes will vastly improve on last week's performance with at least 80 yards and a score.

On the defensive side of the ball, the Steelers will shut down the coke peddler and force Anderson to bomb away. He'll get his but he'll also take a couple sacks and throw a pick or two.

PREDICTION: Steelers 31, Clowns 20



Bonus prediction of the week: Ohio State @ USC

I see ESPN has already given this game a clever little moniker: The Collision at the Coliseum. If you think all the shameless self-promotion is bad just wait till they get a hold of the SEC next year. The nuthuggery will become unbearable.

Back on point here...

Chris "Beanie" Wells is now listed as doubtful for this game. I have a hard time rooting for someone with the name Beanie but that's beside the point. I didn't like their chances even if he was healthy. Look for USC to shut down the running game and force Boeckman to beat them which he won't. King Pryor will have a minimal impact on this game.

The vaunted Ohio State defense will help keep USC at bay but I don't see them doing enough offensively to win it. Mark "Dirty" Sanchez and the backfield loaded with former McDonalds all-americans and receivers that were former McShits all-americans will manage enough offense to win. Another tangent here....I think USC is up to something fishy. Why in the hell would all these blue-chip skill positon talent come to USC to ride the pine or split time? Resident crybaby Mitch Mustain transferred from Arkansas just to watch Sanchez start at QB. I dunno just seems to me that Cheatin' Pete is up to something.

Prediction: USC 21 OSU 13

Other college predictions:
Kansas 24 USF 17. Reesing does just enough to win.

Georgia 21, South Carolina 7. South Carolina's defense keeps this close.

Michigan 13, Notre Dame 7. First one to 10 wins. Jimmy Clausen, a.k.a. Sunshine/douche bag, will get sacked at least 5 times.

Fresno State 17, Wisconsin 14. In somewhat of an upset special for the week, look for Fresno to shut down P.J Hill and make Wisconsin QB Allan Everidge to beat them. I don't think he can.

Florida State 49, Chattanooga 0. Young FSU offense gets another confidence builder. Real test for Seminoles next week against Wake Forest.

Random stuff....I see on the new poll I'm somehow a worse person than Hitler and Bin Laden. Very nice.
Bice
and I square off in fantasy football and I predict that he'll get beat worse than he beats his penis on Saturday nights.

Until next time......

10 Questions About the Upcoming Penguins Season

We have all been so caught up in the return of our beloved Steelers that some people have forgotten that Penguins season gets underway very soon. Preseason starts in a short 9 days with the Pens taking on the Lighting and the regular season starts in less than a month on October 4th in Stockholm against the Sens. There are a number of things I am looking at as the season gets underway.



1.) Will Evgeni Malkin bounce back after a piss poor performance in the playoffs? I thought at first it was a load of shit that Malkin plays better without Crosby. I thought it was just that he finally turned on the switch and was just going to continue to dominate with Crosby's return. But durning the playoffs he slowed considerably and just did not come up big for us. Who knows what the outcome would have been if Malkin had been playing in the playoffs like he did in the regular season. Hopefully he can bounce back to form and take kids to school like he did last year.



2.) Am I the only one who is super pumped that Ryan Whitney is hurt? Ryan Shitney, what the hell happened to you? I thought he was going to be the next Gonchar with even better defensive skills. He gets the big check and starts shitting himself. He couldn't keep the puck in on the PP he was making bonehead passes and mistakes that led to a lot of scoring chances for opposing teams. Hopefully with the 3 months or so he is going to need to take a seat we can have a Marc Andre Fleury effect on him. The best thing that happened to Fleury was being able to sit back and watch how Conklin managed the game. If Shitney does that, he could get back to the level we need him to be at, and if not, he is some serious contention for trade bait. Him being out also leads me to my next point...



3.) Will this season be a breakout year for Kris Letang? I have loved Letang since I first set eyes on him (not in a gay way). He's got a great shot, great speed, solid skating, great puck handling, good D. You name it the kid has it. With Shitney on the bench Letang will get more time on the PP. I think his fear of shooting the puck that he had last year will go away. I think some of the rookie mistakes will go away. I'm not saying his game will be perfect, the kid is still young. I am going to say though watching him this past year and seeing that when he did make a mistake he hauled ass and did everything in his power to fix it, I'm sure any concerns or issues with his game will be resolved coming in to this season and he will be a big piece of the puzzle this year.



4.) Will Marc-Andre Fleury continue his outstanding play? As I mentioned before, the best thing that ever happened to MAF was getting hurt last year. He came back a smarter goalie with better stick skills and more control. He is one of if not the most athletic goalie in the league. When he gets his style and form perfected, not only will he make the routine great saves, but he can make the saves that no other goalie can make just because of his athletic abilities. My only concern is that in the past he has shown himself to get rattled and be a little inside his own head, if he can shake the head trash the man will be a top 5 goalie.



5.) Could it be .....Satan? I want to see what this guy, along with Fedotenko, can do playing on a line with Crosby or Malkin. They have produced in the past, I want to see how they are going to fit in the puzzle.



6.) Will losing Malone, Laraque, and Ruutu etc. be a big deal? I have never been big on Ryan Malone, I think he played great in the playoffs and everything but the truth his his production never really went up even when playing on lines with 2 of the best players in the world. Even a shithead like Robbie Brown looked like a hero when he was playing with Mario. Malone was a behemoth who sat in front of the net, get any big guy in front and Malkin and Crosby will get you 25 goals. I'm more concerned with losing our tough guys. I loved Ruutu, and Big Georges for that matter. I am just hoping that Cooke and fill in when Ruutu left off and Godard can handle the puck behind the net or an entire shift like Laraque could.


(This picture is on the Pens Blog, It is hilarious)

7.) Will God smack the Red Wings with an injury to Hossa? You should never wish ill will upon someone so I am not saying I want Hossa to get hurt. I'm just saying wouldn't it be kind of funny if he did get hurt. That or Detroit didn't even make the playoffs. That might be even better. He wanted to go to a team that he thought had a better chance of winning the cup and they don't even make the playoffs. Lets all cross our fingers.



8.) Will the Pens stay healthy? Fucking high ankle spains galore last season almost jepordized the year for the Pens. Injuries will happen, but I think that for the most part the team shouldn't have the issues of last year and be for the most part healthy.



9.) Will Jordan Staal get out of his offensive funk? Jordan Staal is my boy. He plays great defence, is great on the PK and has solid all around skill, not to mention he is still a teenager. He was getting great chances last year and coming up short. His rookie season the shots that he had going in would hit the post last year. He still got the scoring chances and he still played great all around hockey. He had a very soild playoffs and I think that showed his maturation as a player and I think he will feed off that for this season. The scary thing about Staal is that he is so young he will only put on more muscle and get bigger, faster and stronger. I just really hope he is not a salary cap casualty at the end of this season because I think he is going to have 30-40 goals when it is all said and done.



10.) Last but not least will the Pens repeat as Eastern Conference champs? Short answer, Yes they will. There is no reason why the Pens should not repeat. Sure they lost Hossa, but we didn't have him for the majority of the season. I think that there are no teams in the East who can match the Pens, if they come out of the gate swinging this season instead of lolligagging like they did last year, I think the Pens should end the regular season tops in the East. They should then be able to march back to the Cup Finals and hopefully take the whole damn thing.

So there you have it. I just had to let people know we have not forgotten the Pens and as the season quickly approaches. Also, let's all take a moment to realize that as a city Pittsburgh has some of the greatest sports teams in the world. I hope all of you reading this realize how lucky we are to be able to go to Heinz Field to watch the Stillers or Mellon Arena for a Pens game and yes even PNC park to watch the Succo's. This shit is so sweet. Let's go Pens.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario


So. This has been a crazy week in the world of football. Focusing on the college game it was still quite interesting and will get to be even more interesting this weekend. We shall focus on a team that is just south of the Mason Dixon line, WVU (West Virginia University). WVU lost to ECU this past Saturday, 24-3. A big time blow to WVU after so much hype from last seasons success. So lets dive in, shall we!

Best Case Scenario
WVU currently has a record of 1-1. They opened with a victory over Villanova and then lost to ECU (Eastern Carolina University). Lets say that loss to ECU is a huge fluke. The schedule for WVU looks pretty soft to say the least. WVU should easily defeat Colorado, Marshall, Rutgers and Syracuse to improve to a 5-1 record. Next on the schedule would be Auburn, who should be in the SEC championship game this year. I say WVU loses this game to fall to 5-2. With all Big East schools remaining on their schedule, WVU can't afford to lose anymore games. WVU will defeat Connecticut, Cincinatti and Lousiville to improve to 8-2. I say they win out over Pitt and South Florida to finish at 10-2 and in a major bowl.


Worst Case Scenario
WVU is dealt a major blow to their confidence and it shows for the rest of the season. WVU would still manage to win all of their games leading up to the Auburn game where they get pounded and fall to 5-2. The Big East proves to be tougher than WVU anticipated and they lose to Connecticut, beat Cincinatti and beat Louisville to have a record of 7-3. WVU then loses out to Pitt and South Florida to finish at 7-5.


The Prediction
It is easy to start evaluating teams like I am and be completely wrong in the predictions. But the loss to ECU had to effect WVU mentally. This could be a sign of things to come, or it could be a complete fluke. Either way WVU has no chance at beating Auburn, so that will be another loss for them. I think that honestly South Florida is the only other threat on the schedule unless Pitt comes around. But another loss to a non-contender is possible. I say WVU finishes the season at 9-3 and bowl eligible, but not winners of the Big East.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario


For those that don't know, WVU was pounded by ECU (Eastern Carolina University)24-3 this past Saturday. ECU upset both Virginia Tech and West Virginia on back to back weekends to start the college football season. So lets take a look at the remainder of the ECU football schedule and see whats in store for them...


Best Case Scenario
ECU has started off with a 2-0 record against two legitimate college football teams. Both WVU and VT were supposed to contend for titles this year. So, lets say ECU is a contender this season. The ECU schedule looks fairly easy from here on out. This week against Tulane is a win, leaving the Pirates with a 3-0 record when they play North Carolina State and Houston. I would say that these are wins. NC State and Houston aren't pushovers and could be upset games, but for not if ECU is a legitimate team, they are wins. So that leaves ECU with a 5-0 record heading into the game with Virginia. Virginia was picked to finish with a record of 5-7 according to Sports Illustrated, so this I would say is a win. ECU is now 6-0 heading into their game with Memphis which is a win. UCF is next on the schedule and could cause some problems. UCF just played Big East contender USF pretty tough this past weekend, so this could be a loss, but I am thinking that ECU's momentum takes them to another win. In fact I think ECU could probably win out with victories over Marshall, Southern Miss, UAB and UTEP. This would make ECU 12-0 heading into the Conference USA championhip game against Tulsa. Given the momentum ECU has from the start of the season they beat Tulsa to finish 13-0 and maybe have a chance at a New Years Day bowl.


Worse Case Scenario
ECU was picked to go to the Conference USA championship game, so we'll say they still get to go, but just not with the record everyone thought they would have. After starting off 2-0, ECU picks up wins over Tulane, NC State and Houston to have a 5-0 record heading into the Virginia game. Virginia beats ECU, in what would probably be an upset to leave the Pirates with a 5-1 record. ECU then falls into a roller coaster trend for the next several weeks, beating Memphis, falling to UCF, beating Marshall then losing to Southern Miss to have a record of 7-3. UAB pulls of another upset and then ECU defeats UTEP to finish the season with a record of 8-4. They would fail to make the Conf. USA championship due to their loss to Southern Miss, ending their season with a below average bowl.


The Prediction
ECU's 2-0 start is no fluke. They will surely win at least 11 games this year. Predicted to go 9-3, I would say that two of those losses were supposed to be against VT and WVU. They roll through the season with UCF being their only tough remaining game. Meeting Tulsa in the Conf. USA championhip will show the kind of team Skip Holtz has. I say 12-0 and Conf. USA champs.


At some point this week, I wil break down the Notre Dame schedule and the remaining WVU games in another best case/worst case scenario. Stay tuned...

Sunday, September 7, 2008

1-0: Steelers beat down Texans

The Steelers came out and set the tone early in a 38-17 victory over the Texans. Fast Willie had 138 yards and three scores. He already surpassed last season's total of 2. Big Ben was a coldly-efficient 13 out of 14 for 137 and two touchdowns. Peter King will still insist that Carson Palmer is better quarterback. Hines Ward caught two touchdowns and had 76 yards receiving. Would have been more if a 75 yard gain wasn't negated on a very questionable pass interference call.

James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley set the led the way for the Steeler's D. Harrison recorded 3 sacks and Woodley had a sack, fumble recovery, and an interception. Say hello to the best linebacking group in the NFL. Just wait till Timmons gets on the field more.

What to take from this victory? Houston isn't nearly as bad as they looked (or the Steelers made them look) and this was an impressive win over a decent football team. Everything was clicking on all cylinders. Houston's points were all scored in garbage time.

Only things I saw of concern was Roethlisberger was under some heat a little more than he should have been. Then again, Mario Williams is a beast (the Texans did the right thing drafting him over Reggie Bush). Santonio Holmes had a so-so game but don't fear his numbers will go up.

Looking at the rest of the AFC North, Cincinatti is a train wreck waiting to happen. Horrible offense/horrible defense. How in the blue hell do you let Joe Flacco run for a 30 something yard score? Just wait till their miscreants start acting up. Cleveland received a healthy beating from Dallas. Their defense still sucks. My grandma and Stephen Hawking can get open on their secondary. The Ravens are starting a rookie QB and their defense is another year older. Things are looking good for the division.

News out of New England (see Stein's post) is that Brady is dunzo. If that's the case that's one less obstacle in the Steeler's way. By the way Bice, since you're in Boston you better be taunting the Patriot fans.

The Browns are up next for the Black and Gold.

Patriots Lose Brady For Season

BREAKING NEWS


I am sure everyone has heard the news by now. New England Patriots QB Tom Brady will miss the remainder of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. The hit happened in the 1st quarter of the Patriots/Chiefs game. I was able to catch a replay and it was simliar to the hit put on Carson Palmer by Steelers tackle Kimo Von Olehoffen, aka Kimo Therapy. This leaves the Patriots with unproven backup Matt Cassell. This is horrible news for the Patriots. But if you are a fan of any other team in the AFC, then you have to be breathing a sigh of relief. I never like to see another player go down hurt. I respect Tom Brady because he is a good quarterback. But do I like him? Not so much. His injury leaves the favorites of the AFC as the Colts and Steelers. Don't rule out the Patriots; for all we know this is another one of Bill Bilichecks shenanigans. But you have to wonder who the frontrunner of the AFC East is now. The Bills or the Jets? The Jets are a much improved team with Brett Favre, but even though they beat the Dolphins today, we are still talking about two teams that won a combined 5 games last season.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario


Pittsburgh Steelers 2008
The Steelers open their 2008 regular season on Sunday at 1pm against the Houston Texans at Heinz Field. In case anyone cares, I will be unable to watch the game since I have to work. It sucks. But anyway the Steelers could struggle this season. Alot of people think they could do better than last year, and that could be. But they could also do worse. So many unknowns about their offensive line with the loss of Alan Faneca and of course certain people who write for the Post-Gazette whom we will not name, feel the Steelers defense is "over-the-hill" with so many older players. Whatever. I'm here to tell you what to expect from the Steelers in 2008. Here it goes...


Best Case Scenario
So what if the Steelers play to their full potential? This is how I think it would play out. The Steelers would open the season with four straight wins over the Texans, Browns, Eagles and Ravens. I honestly think that the Steelers could beat the Jaguars, but they can't win every game and if they are going to lose, it will probably be to Jacksonville. Going into the bye week the Steelrs would be 4-1. Coming out of the bye, they play the Bengals and win but lose to the defending world champion Giants to fall to 5-2. After the loss to the Giants the Steelers beat the Redskins to reach a record of 6-2. The Steelers lose to the Colts and then beat the Chargers and Bengals to end their three game homestand with a record of 8-3. Pittsburgh then heads to New England where they lose to the Patriots, slipping to 8-4. They win out the regular season with wins over the Cowboys, Ravens, Titans and Browns to finish the season at 12-4.


Worse Case Scenario
Suppose the Steelers regress in 2008. Whatever the case they aren't as good as last year. They lose to the Texans and Browns to start off 0-2. Wins over the Eagles and Ravens get the Steelers back to .500 with a 2-2 record, but they lose to Jacksonville, falling to 2-3. They beat the Bengals and then lose to the Giants, leaving them with a 3-4 going into the game with the Redskins. They beat Washington and improve to 4-4, but then lose two straight to the Colts and Chargers to open the three game homestand, giving them a 4-6 record. They rebound with a win over the Bengals and then lose to the Patriots and Cowboys. With a record of 5-8, the Steelers then post wins over the Ravens and Titans but fall in the final game of the season to finish at 7-9.


My Prediction
The Steelers might not win 12 games this year, but I think they are at least a team that can win 10 games. They should be able to sweep the Ravens and beat the Redskins and Titans. I think it will be tough for San Diego(November 16)and Dallas(December 7) to come into Pittsburgh and win so late in the season. The Steelers have key games against New England and Indianapolis which could decide playoff spots and Cleveland and Jacksonville are also going to be tough opponents. The Giants game shouldn't be overlooked either. The Steelers should finish with a 10-6 or 11-5 record.

My Fantasy Football Post

It seems like everyone and their grandfathers second cousins landlord are making posts about fantasy football. Because I don't feel like being left out of the loop I am going to tell you all about my bad ass fantasy squad.



QB - Carson Palmer

So Palmer didn't have a stellar year this past season. He should come back into form this year. With HOcho Cinco and Douchmanzada as one of the best one two punches in the league, I think he might bouch back to become the top tier QB he has the potential to be.



RB - Ladainian Tomlinson

Do I even have to say anything else? The man is a machine bottom line. He will be good for 15 points a week at least.



RB - Selvin Young

Ok so this pick is a little wierd. I had picked Ronnie Brown before word got out that Ricky Williams is going to be the starter in Miami. I picked up Young in late rounds and he could be a big sleeper this year. He is the starting back for Denver and hopefully can come into form this season as a young stand out back.



WR - Larry Fitzgerald

Top 5 reciever in the league. On a team where you have Boldin as well he still produces. With a fat new contract and Boldin getting up there in age, Fitzgerald should produce big numbers this year.



WR - Santonio Holmes

Santonio should be a great number 2 guy for me this year. He should complete his full transition this season to become the Steelers number one reciever. Hines is aging and will continue to produce but Santonio will put up some serious numbers this season. He will be good for a good number of TD's and hopefully 1000 yards.



WR/RB - Jerricho Cotchery

Jerricho as was previously posted is going to have a great season again. With his new QB, he should put up even better numbers this year. He is the sole reason I won my league last year. He's one of those guys that does not get a lot of press but he really does well.



TE - Jason Witten

Best TE in the league. With Dallas being short on WR's he is going to have a bigger role in the offence this year, even working as slot reciever at times. This should lead to some even bigger numbers for Witten. He is like another reciever and he could put up 10-15 points a week.



K - Shayne Graham

It's a kicker, who cares. But as for kickers he is one of the best.



DEF/ST - Bears

Two words, Hester and Urlacher. Bears defence is always good and creates a lot of turnovers and does not let up a lot of points. Hopefully they will keep putting up the special teams numbers to give that little extra push that my team can use later in the season.


So there you have it that is my starting lineup for this week. I have backup players that are good as well but I don't feel like wrtiing anything else. Until next time, Peace Bitches.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/5/2008

I have one receiver that I know is going to be in my starting line-up from week to week and that's Marques Colston. After that I'm not so sure. The other four guys, Donald Driver, Marvin Harrison, Jerricho Cotchery, and Ted Ginn Jr., aren't bad but they aren't the sure thing receiver I think Colston is. I've been trying to rationalize who I should start and who I should sit and I think its going to go down to the wire. Cotchery is playing the Dolphins, who suck, and I think he can have a huge game so he's definitley going to be my number 2 guy. Driver plays Minnesota, who he's had a good deal of success against in the past, but how good is Aaron Rodgers going to be against the tough Viking D. Harrison used to be the man but coming back from injury and a rusty Manning makes me extremely cautious. Finally, I'm seriously considering Teddy Ginn. Chad Pennington is playing his former team and you know he's going to do his damndest to put it to the Jets. That means lots of passes to Ginn. I hope. Either way it's going to be a game time decision. I'm not really good at them and will probably regret whatever I choose but I'll keep you updated.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/4/2008

Don't pick-up Daunte Culpepper. This should be obvious to everyone anyway, but in the wake of his retirement, I'd just like to bring up how terrible this former Quarterback actually is. Even when he had those two great seasons in 2000 and 2004, he still could never hold onto the football. Daunte Culpepper has played 92 games in the NFL. Daunte Culpepper has fumbled the football 89 times in those 92 career games. Daunte Culpepper has also thrown 94 interceptions during those 92 games. So chances are, if he was your starting Quarterback he was going to turn the ball over almost twice per game.

Also, in those two years when he was really good, he was throwing to Randy Moss and Chris Carter. Fucking Bones could put up decent numbers with those two guys at WR. Keep in mind, he also had 3 shitty seasons with those same guys as well as the shitty seasons he had with the Dolphins, who had no one, and Raiders who had no one.

There's a reason Daunte Culpepper isn't an NFL starter. (Other than the retarded decision to become his own agent.) It's because he's awful. Unless you give him great receivers, he won't be decent, and even then he'll still fumble the football.

I'm also a little bit bitter because I had the "Bones Feeling" about Culpepper last year and drafted him as a back-up. Although he really didn't hurt my team, he was still on it and I blame the reason I finished in last place solely on him. And on Bones. But that's obvious.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario


I think I have been a little bit hard on the Pitt football team lately. I could be right or I could be dead wrong about their chances this season, but either way the future holds the answer. But for now I think that I should give Pitt a little bit of a chance. Given their loss to Bowling Green, I am going to break down the Pitt schedule and do a best case/worst case for the Panthers. Here it goes...


Best Case Scenario

OK. Let's break down the schedule and do a best case scenario for Pitt. Even though they lost to Bowling Green, which alot of people think they should have won, we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and just say they had opening day jitters. This week Pitt plays Buffalo. It's a big game because the Panthers need to rebound to have any chance of a winning record this year with Iowa coming in to Pittsburgh the following week. So we'll say Pitt beats Buffalo and then loses to a tough Iowa team. Pitt would be 1-2 after three games. Pitt then beats a lousy Syracuse team and then loses a close game against USF, giving them a record of 2-3. Pitt then reels off 5 wins in a row over Navy, Rutgers, Notre Dame, Louisville and Cincinatti giving them a 7-3 record. With two games left against West Virginia and Connecticut Pitt goes 1-1 with a loss to WVU and win over CT to finish the season with a record of 8-4. That would probably make them bowl eligible and then Dave Wannstedt could keep his job.


Worst Case Scenario

Lets say things don't go so smoothly for the Panthers. Pitt loses to Buffalo and Iowa to open the season at 0-3. They chalk up win number one against Syracuse and then lose to USF giving them a record of 1-4. Pitt then gets victories over Navy and Rutgers to improve to a 3-4 record. Pitt would then lose three of their last five games to Notre Dame, Cincinatti and West Virginia to finish with a record of 5-7 on the season.


The Verdict

Pitt faces a tough uphill climb after the opening loss to Bowling Green, so lets say Pitt beats Buffalo and loses to Iowa to open the season at 1-2. Give Pitt wins over Syracuse and Navy and a loss to USF. Their record at that point would be 3-3. Going into a home game against Rutgers Pitt will win and then carry the momentum to a victory in South Bend giving them a record of 5-3. Pitt loses to Louisville at home and loses to Cincinatti and West Virginia. Ending the season with a win over Connecticut would give the Panthers an overall record of 6-6 on the season. It is really hard to say how Pitt will respond this week. If they lose to Buffalo we are looking at a worst case scenario. Somehow though I don't think they can beat Iowa. The Big Ten seems to be better than the Big East. Pitt should have at least one guarenteed win over Syracuse. If Pitt would lose to the Orange, all hope is lost for the Panthers in 2008.
Pitt plays Buffalo on Saturday at Heinz Field. The game starts at 6pm and as far as I know won't be a televised game.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

College Football's Most Asked Questions

My email inbox has been overrun with questions from all of our loyal readers. So I decided to take the top 5 and answer them for all to see. Here we go...

1) Will it be Paterno or Bowden who end the season as college football's all-time wins leader as head coach? Who knows. I think Paterno is far more stubborn and will probably end up coaching another season at least. I am a firm believer that if you love to do somthing, you should continue to do it for as long as you wish. I think both Paterno and Bowden have earned that right. They are coaching legends and should walk away when they feel ready. Bowden is, but Paterno apparently isn't. I am willing to bet that it ends in a tie and then Paterno takes the lead next season after Bowden retires. I love Penn State, but I hope JoePa doesn't hang on too long.

2) How bad is Pitt? I know I said they were shit on this blog earlier. And I think they are. But how bad could they possibly be. Here is my prediction. Pitt will manage to pull out a win against Buffalo to even their record at 1-1. After that everyone will be on the bandwagon and Pitt will be back on the straight and narrow again. Then the Iowa Hawkeyes come to town and Pitt will lose to the mediocre Big Ten team to slip to 1-2. Pitt will then stomp Syracuse to improve to 2-2. Syracuse is horrible and has been ever since Donovan McNabb left them. If Pitt loses to Syracuse consider the season a loss and send the Pitt coaching staff a thank you note for fucking up the Panthers for the last four seasons. The Panthers will then lose back-to-back games against USF and Navy to slip to 2-4. With the season all but lost, Pitt does their best to trick their fans again with back-to-back wins against Rutgers and Notre Dame to even their record at 4-4. Pitt then will defeat Louisville in a close game to make everyone think that the Panthers are finally on the rise with their record at 5-4 with three games remaining in the season. Pitt then loses their remaining three games to Cincinatti, West Virginia and Connecticut to end the season at 5-7 and out of Bowl contention. Thats it folks. Don't even bother watching the games, cuz you know the outcome.
3) How does Rick Neuheisel still have a coaching job? UCLA made a great decision to bring in coach N. That is evident from the comeback victory that UCLA had over Tennessee on Monday night. But during the broadcast when ESPN was reviewing Neuheisel's coaching resume the color commentator mentioned that every school that Neuheisel coached at faced sanctions from the NCAA after he left. His most famous blunder was while at the University of Washington for some kind of betting thing. I hope he doesn't screw UCLA like he did his last two stops.

4) What was Rich Rodriguez thinking? Apparently he wasn't. West Virginia will have a much better season than Michigan. When people are talking about Penn State actually beating Michigan this season, you know it must be bad for the Wolverines. I hope Rodriguez gets fired from Michigan and never coaches again (But that is just a personal preferance).

5) Will Tim Tebow win the Heisman for a second straight season? I respect Tim Tebow. I think that it takes alot for a guy like him to lead the kind of life he does, with so much peer pressure around him. Overall Tebow is a dual threat with his arm and legs. Urban Meyer's spread offense increases his threat level. I say he wins again. Unless he gets injured, silly.



Until next time, always remember to have sex with girls on your back because girls can't get pregnant that way!

Top Ten Overrated and Over hyped NFL Players


I just wanted to write about something that bothers me. People who are over payed and over hyped for never doing anything more then what they are suppose to do. These are people that strulggle at doing that and never do the above and beyond to take their team to the next level.


Well here they are and yes in this particular order on how much they fucking suck and are over hyped and over rated:

1. Vince Young- He just wins games..I am tired of hearing that. He needs more weapons.. Well put up some numbers and win playoff games...Mike Vick did that shit too.

2. Matt Leinart- Christ you would think this guy was Joe Namath for as much attention he gets off the field. He probably has better luck in a reality tv show or something then ever being an NFL QB.

3. Ray Lewis- Grandpa Ray, who get more credit for tackles he wasn't in on as oppose to ones that he was.

4.Chad Johnson- Hey Chad put and shut up.. You got a damn Pro Bowl QB and WR core. Then ask for a contract or a trade. Of course you could ask to be traded for Jerry Rice and maybe Dancing with the Stars will eat the rest of your contract.

5.Troy Polamolu - never plays how do we know how great he is, because he did at one season or so. Hey Troy put the rosary down and help us comeplete a Hail Mary or two.

6.Steven Jackson- Quit being a pussy and go play. No one made you sign a contract and for crying out loud you do not need to buy all the jewlery in the store and a fleet of cars and you ll have tons of money if your career ends tomorrow. Why don't you go out and show me something before you hold out you injured pussy.

7.Clinton Portis - hey bud you got so many damn disguses.. I am starting to think you dressing up as a football player every sunday is another of the many. Well if it is, atleast we know your fooling you stupid ass owner Daniel Synder. I know your not fooling me.. I'll never draft your shitty fantasy ass.

8.Dallas Cowboys Team- Can someone tell me why the hell year in and year out these guys get so much press and hype. Christ you would think they have won more Superbowls then playoff games under Tony Romo. Oh wait they have fucking zero.

9.Reggie Bush- Hey Reggie I don't if anyone has told you yet,but their are tons of brothers of your caliber out there. You gotta have skills to play in this league. Although, We know you do have one skill and that is fucking hot bitches like Kim Kardashin.

10.Brady Quinn- Although I can't blame all this on Brady because someone else has just been having a miracle season and stopping him from playing. But for being a bench warmer have you seen anyone with more endorsements. I mean how do you explain that one...here use are product you can be as ripped and fucking cool as Brady Quinn and oh yeah you too can sit the bench. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa HGH MILKSHAKES!!!


Thanks for reading, I hope you agree and found it entertaining because I sure don't when Sundays roll around and these fucking idiots are making more money then a lot of us will ever see in our lifetimes!!