Fantasy Football Update 9/14/2008

Let me just say how terrible the Offensive lines I've been watching today are. Both the Colts and the Rams look like shit. Total shit and its really pissing me off. This especially affects old Joe Addai who also looks like shit with a whopping 4 yards at the half. To make matters worse, Brees is only worth 2.5 points and Ryan "Can't" is only worth 1. God Damn, its going to be a long day.

My Fantasy Football Post

It seems like everyone and their grandfathers second cousins landlord are making posts about fantasy football. Because I don't feel like being left out of the loop I am going to tell you all about my bad ass fantasy squad.



QB - Carson Palmer

So Palmer didn't have a stellar year this past season. He should come back into form this year. With HOcho Cinco and Douchmanzada as one of the best one two punches in the league, I think he might bouch back to become the top tier QB he has the potential to be.



RB - Ladainian Tomlinson

Do I even have to say anything else? The man is a machine bottom line. He will be good for 15 points a week at least.



RB - Selvin Young

Ok so this pick is a little wierd. I had picked Ronnie Brown before word got out that Ricky Williams is going to be the starter in Miami. I picked up Young in late rounds and he could be a big sleeper this year. He is the starting back for Denver and hopefully can come into form this season as a young stand out back.



WR - Larry Fitzgerald

Top 5 reciever in the league. On a team where you have Boldin as well he still produces. With a fat new contract and Boldin getting up there in age, Fitzgerald should produce big numbers this year.



WR - Santonio Holmes

Santonio should be a great number 2 guy for me this year. He should complete his full transition this season to become the Steelers number one reciever. Hines is aging and will continue to produce but Santonio will put up some serious numbers this season. He will be good for a good number of TD's and hopefully 1000 yards.



WR/RB - Jerricho Cotchery

Jerricho as was previously posted is going to have a great season again. With his new QB, he should put up even better numbers this year. He is the sole reason I won my league last year. He's one of those guys that does not get a lot of press but he really does well.



TE - Jason Witten

Best TE in the league. With Dallas being short on WR's he is going to have a bigger role in the offence this year, even working as slot reciever at times. This should lead to some even bigger numbers for Witten. He is like another reciever and he could put up 10-15 points a week.



K - Shayne Graham

It's a kicker, who cares. But as for kickers he is one of the best.



DEF/ST - Bears

Two words, Hester and Urlacher. Bears defence is always good and creates a lot of turnovers and does not let up a lot of points. Hopefully they will keep putting up the special teams numbers to give that little extra push that my team can use later in the season.


So there you have it that is my starting lineup for this week. I have backup players that are good as well but I don't feel like wrtiing anything else. Until next time, Peace Bitches.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/5/2008

I have one receiver that I know is going to be in my starting line-up from week to week and that's Marques Colston. After that I'm not so sure. The other four guys, Donald Driver, Marvin Harrison, Jerricho Cotchery, and Ted Ginn Jr., aren't bad but they aren't the sure thing receiver I think Colston is. I've been trying to rationalize who I should start and who I should sit and I think its going to go down to the wire. Cotchery is playing the Dolphins, who suck, and I think he can have a huge game so he's definitley going to be my number 2 guy. Driver plays Minnesota, who he's had a good deal of success against in the past, but how good is Aaron Rodgers going to be against the tough Viking D. Harrison used to be the man but coming back from injury and a rusty Manning makes me extremely cautious. Finally, I'm seriously considering Teddy Ginn. Chad Pennington is playing his former team and you know he's going to do his damndest to put it to the Jets. That means lots of passes to Ginn. I hope. Either way it's going to be a game time decision. I'm not really good at them and will probably regret whatever I choose but I'll keep you updated.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/4/2008

Don't pick-up Daunte Culpepper. This should be obvious to everyone anyway, but in the wake of his retirement, I'd just like to bring up how terrible this former Quarterback actually is. Even when he had those two great seasons in 2000 and 2004, he still could never hold onto the football. Daunte Culpepper has played 92 games in the NFL. Daunte Culpepper has fumbled the football 89 times in those 92 career games. Daunte Culpepper has also thrown 94 interceptions during those 92 games. So chances are, if he was your starting Quarterback he was going to turn the ball over almost twice per game.

Also, in those two years when he was really good, he was throwing to Randy Moss and Chris Carter. Fucking Bones could put up decent numbers with those two guys at WR. Keep in mind, he also had 3 shitty seasons with those same guys as well as the shitty seasons he had with the Dolphins, who had no one, and Raiders who had no one.

There's a reason Daunte Culpepper isn't an NFL starter. (Other than the retarded decision to become his own agent.) It's because he's awful. Unless you give him great receivers, he won't be decent, and even then he'll still fumble the football.

I'm also a little bit bitter because I had the "Bones Feeling" about Culpepper last year and drafted him as a back-up. Although he really didn't hurt my team, he was still on it and I blame the reason I finished in last place solely on him. And on Bones. But that's obvious.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/3/2008

Jerricho Cotchery is awesome. I'm just going to say it now. If he is not one of your starting WRs, then you sir are a fool. He's had 82 receptions each of the last two seasons and gained 1130 last year. That was with "Girl-Arm" Pennington throwing to him. Now with Brett Favre at the helm, and Laverneus Coles missing most of the preseason, look for those numbers to go way up. I'm guessing he will catch at least 10 touchdowns this year. So if he's available in your league, then everyone in your league is a bunch of fucking idiots. So don't be an idiot and pick him up.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/2/2008

I have a really good feeling about Kurt Warner this year. Now I don't have him on my team, because I have two pretty damn good starting QBs. But if you had someone shitty (Jay Cutler), I'd recommend you pick this guy up. Krazy Kurt threw more touchdowns than anyone the last 7 games of 2007 and he's got the weapons to continue this strong pace. I'm going to make the bold prediction that Warner will finish this season as a top 5 QB and I'll probably regret not picking him up.

Fantasy Football 2008 Preview

Is it pathetic that one of the highlights of my life is an annual fantasy football draft? Probably, but by God its one of my favorite days of the year! Where else can a group of assholes like my friends and I compete and rip on each other at high levels without any form of exercise whatsoever? Nowhere! So for the past five years, I've had one goal: To Beat Bones.

So this year, I invite you to look in on our league to see how Fantasy Football is really played.

http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/bonescantwin

But before I do, Let me introduce you to the gang and give you a preview of the upcoming season.

3time 3time 3time

Owner: Bones
Exp: 4 years
Overall Record: 34-20-2
Best Finish: 1st (twice)
Worst Finish: 3rd
Playoff Appearances: 4

If there's one person I wish would lose all his games, it would be Bones. Not because he's pretty much ruled the league since it's inception 2004 but more because I just generally wish ill-will upon him in whatever he does. As much as I hate to admit it, Bones generally picks up a good team whether it be through the draft or on the waiver wire. This year his starting line-up looks pretty solid. Roethlisberger is a top 5 QB and LT is LT. Lee Evans is, as always iffy and I think Michael "the Burner" Turner is going to have a breakout season. As for his bench, Rudi Johnson, who is currently getting shopped, has a lot to prove. Crayton is a good sleeper, and Joey Galloway is always good for being old and catching balls.

2008 Prediction: Bones will lose all his games except when he faces Dan.

Rhoades
Owner: Rhoades
Exp: 4 years
Overall Record: 28-25-3
Best Finish: 1st
Worst Finish: 6th
Playoff Appearance:2

The leagues inaugural champion, Old Rhoadesy looks to have a season without a tie. My worry about Rhoades' team is that a lot of these guys have missed time, or will miss time due to injury, (or in Brandon Marshall's case, suspension.) Donavan Mcnabb has been a solid QB when he's been healthy but with injuries to Coles, Chad Johnson, and Reggie Brown his wide receivers are definitely suspect. Larry Johnson should have a decent year, except the Chief's lack of a passing game is going to hurt there. Frank Gore will probably be awesome, especially since I hate him. Props on the Mendenhall pick though, as long as he can keep his hands on the ball, he'll be a viable option.

2008 Prediction: It's tough to tell, I think if his receivers stay healthy, Rhoades could make the playoffs, but that's a big if.

Chinese Chopsticks
Owner: Chan
Exp: 4 Years
Overall Record:27-29
Best Finish: 4th
Worst Finish: 8th
Playoff Appearances: 1

If we were playing this Fantasy Football in China, Chan would surely win the league. Not because his team is better than ours, but more because the Chinese cheated in the Olympics, so why stop there? Actualy, Chan's team is looking a lot stronger than I initially thought, especially if Peyton Manning is healthy. Fitzgerald, Holt, Holmes, and Ward are some pretty decent receivers. Steven Jacksona and Brandon Jacobs are good. Lendale White is a fat ass, and I'm not so sure how many carries Justin Fargas is going to get so hopefully his top two backs don't get injured. If all goes well, I can see Chinese Chopsticks being a strong contender in this league.

2008 Prediction: With a healthy Manning, Chan finishes at least 3rd.

Jimmy Fallon Rocks
Owner: Bice
Exp: 4 years
Overall Record: 30-26
Best Finish: 2nd
Worst Finish: 8th
Playoff Appearances: 2
If Jesus were to draft a team, it would most certainly look like this. I have the Drew/ Marques Colston combo going in the Saint's pass happy offense. Harrison, Driver, and Cotchery will also get their fair share of TD's as well. Running Back wise Joseph Addai and Ryan Grant are clearly top fantasy backs. Thomas Jones is going to have a huge year and LJ Smith is going to become the top TE in th league. Overall, an awesome draft for old Bicer.

2008 Prediction: 1st place. 14-0.

Oriental Avenue
Owner: Dan
Exp: 4 years
Overall Record: 30-26
Best Finish: 3rd
Worst Finish: 7th
Playoff Appearances: 2

Dan is probably the worst player in Fantasy Football history. Every player he chooses is just so God Awful, I don't know why we even let him in the league. He's a total disgrace. Carson Palmer?! Awful! TJ Douchemanzadah?! Hurt and a prick! Bouldin wants a trade. Santana Moss sucks! Kevin Curtis is hurt. Marshawn Lynch is probably the only good player on his team. I wouldn't be suprised if Neil Rackers is his points leader this year. Honestly. Just Awful.

2008 Prediction: 0-14

Brutus B. Rowns
Owner: Timmy
Exp: 4 years
Overall Record: 25-29-2
Best Finish: 4th
Worst Finish: 8th
Playoff Appearances: 1

Timmy should have won the entire league last year. How you have guys like Brady, Moss, LT, and Braylon Edwards, and then not make the playoffs is beyond me. This year he has Brady and Moss back and although they probably won't reach the milestones they did last year, they'll still win him a few games. After those two, however, his team is all suspect. Maroney and McGahee are not strong backs, especially since McGahee hasn't even played this preseason. Calvin Johnson may be a good sleeper but other than that I'm not too impressed.

2008 Prediction: With awful teams like Dan's and Bones's, Timmy will go .500.

Make It RainOwner: Gus
Exp: 1 year
Overall Record: 10-4
Best Finish:2

During last year's draft everyone made fun of Gus's team. Then he went and came in 2nd place. So no more of that. I've got to say, I hate Tony Romo. He never is good for a whole season, especially not when you need him but maybe Jessica Simpson won't show up to any of his games this year. TO is getting up there in age but still effective. Willie Parker is great but rarely gets in the end zone. Adrian Peterson could carry his team for a few weeks and those two rookie running backs could help carry the load.

2008 Prediction: Gus finishes second again after I kick the shit out of him in the championship game.

Cripplers
Owners: Crippler and Dan Potash

Exp: RookieCrippler is the new kid on the block and it shows because he drafted Jay Cutler, who I think is worthless. Braylon Edwards, Andre Johnson, and Wes Welker are pretty decent receivers. Westbrook is fantastic. Portis is a weirdo and Earnest Graham sucks. Hopefully Dan Potash will call Crippler periodically to give him so good advice or he might hang himself on his bow flex.

2008 Prediction: He'll win like 5 games.