Friday, July 25, 2008

Succo's Trade

It's not positive yet but we just got word that Nady and Marte are out for some bums from the shit stain Yankees. Nice job fellas, way to work it through. So we get rid of one of our decent relief pitchers and one of our most consistantly solid players for an average relief pitcher and some minor league bums. Fuck that. The Pirates after shitting the bed after the all star break this is all we need. It's bottom of the 7th and we are losing 6-4. So we are probably going to lose after a string of a few good wins. Duke let up 5 today and pretty much licks male genitals. Remember when he was supposed to become our ace? Well he blows along with our other starting pitchers. Maholm, who was been the sole bright spot has been doing well and I will not complain about him. Still, we needed a starting pitcher and should have gotten one out of Nady and we easily could have. Not some turds who play in AA. I may be wrong and these guys develop into great players. But we will probably trade them when they start to produce anyways. Trading Nady will not help us reach .500 for the first time since I was a little kid pissing in my pants. I support the Pirates with every inch of myself. I love to go to games and I love to watch them on TV. I love the sports teams of this fine city like they are my children. And when your child does something stupid you still want to smack them on the ass. Well Succos, if you were my child, with the dumb shit you do, your ass would be red as those lame ass jerseys you are rocking.

Monday, July 21, 2008

TV Shows I Miss

Here we are for another piece of journalistic triumph from your friend Trick called: TV Shows I Miss. Last time we took a look at Clone High, an amazing show that got the shit can way before it ran it's course. Now, I'm going to take a look back to my childhood to recall a bad-ass cartoon called "The Real Ghostbusters."

The show was based off of the movie of the same name. It's about some scientists who catch and... Look if you don't know what Ghostbusters is you need punched in the testicles/ovaries so you can't spread your seed and populate the world with more sad excuses for humans like yourself. The show was the reason my childhood was not lame. I could have been watching Barney, or some stupid ass show like Power Rangers but no, I was watching some dudes beat the shit out of ghosts and all things evil. Now, there was another cartoon that was on around the same time called just "Ghostbusters," I'm not gonna lie, I watched the shit. However, I look back and wish I could kick my own ass because it was a cheap excuse for a cartoon. There was a damn gorilla that was busting ghosts.

What the Fuck ?????

Shit was just dumb. A gorilla would kill both of those cockbags way before he would bust ghosts. The show was based off of a 70's show that had two goof balls and a gorilla doing stupid shit. Look, I understand that this was the "origial ghostbusters" but it's pretty fuckin lame to have an ape (like Stein) running around trying to bust some demons and shit. Fuck that show.

"The Real Ghostbusters" was the bomb because the movies it was based on kicked ass and had some of the best comedians ever. I miss being a kid sitting on my couch and watching it and saying "oh Slimer, how I wish your were my friend. Oh man I just wee wee'd in my pants." Then come August I would be looking forward for my birthday where I could get a plastic proton pack from my parents and go outside and find some dick head ghosts to catch. Now, I loathe my birthday cause it's another reason for my family to get together and engauge in more depressing talk about which one of thier friends died or is in the hospital and how thier bowel movements are coming along. To be young....

So there you have it again folks your most recent intallment of TV Shows I Miss. Until next time... watch some hilarity from the show.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

How Many Senses Do You Have?

Something funny happened the other day. I was at work (the booze outlet) and one of our fine customers decided that it was time to head home after making their choice on what to get fucked up on that day. This individual has been into the store several times. I was stationed at a register that was all alone near the exit. The register has nothing on either sides, so it could be confusing as to which side to go to. If you have any common sense, you would guess that it would be the side that lines up with the exit door. But this individual, who I will not name because I don't know it, goes to the wrong side. This person has been into the store several times, as I mentioned earlier. WHAT A FUCKING MORON! Who makes stupid choices like this. Apparently this douche bag and his thick, black rimmed glasses. He looks like a total nerd, overweight and dorky looking. What a waste.

Also, Bob Smizik wrote another lame editorial in which he calls Pittsburghers "knuckleheads" for wanting to boo Marian Hossa. Well no shit Smizik, what should we do: cheer him for taking us to a cup final, missing the last shot of the season, and then stabbing us all in the back and fleeing for Detroit. Why don't you all do us a fucking favor Bob and retire so that some college kid can get a job and actually contribute to society instead of writing pessimisstic articles. You beetle browed fuck!