Things That Make Me Laugh

I suppose I could write a post about the Pens or the Buccos or Jay Cutler or Tiger Woods or my sex life. But since my life is now occupied by two jobs, I decided that I would write about what makes me laugh. Just some things this past week that forced a chuckle out of me. Here it goes...

Have you ever worked at a fast food place like me? Of course you have. Well I am sure that you have had the same experiences I've had too. The other day I wasn't very busy, working the front counter when a gentleman walked into McDonalds. I approached my register, but he walked past me into the rest room. So I waited for him....and waited. He then left the store. My biggest suprise was yet to come. I suppose you think I am going to tell you that I walked into the rest room a few minutes later and found playboy and hustler on the ground with the pages all sticky or the walls covered in shit. Well, sorry to dissapoint you. I did see him in the drive thru though. Think about it, who walks inside to use the restroom and then goes through drive thru to order food? I don't know, but it made me laugh.

I was able to catch some TV the other day between jobs (actually just some commercials) and guess who I saw? Billy Mays! He was advertising some goofy glue that fixes anything. At one point he was trying to prove how strong it was by standing in a wind tunnel with the flag blowing at storm strength winds. His hair was blowing in the wind. It made me laugh.

Something else that would make me laugh would be Bice in a wheelchair. But thats not very nice.

I hope you found my stories to be funny too. See ya next time!

I Almost Got Killed Today

I almost died today. And it wasn't because I swollowed somthing with a Mr. Yuck sticker on it.

This is actually somthing that all of us except Bice can relate too, since we all still live in the Western Pennsylvania region. As most of you know, we've gotten a shit load of snow recently. I actually enjoyed watching it snow until my dad made me shovel it all. Then I hated it. But regardless, it has snowed a ton lately. And today I almost died because of it.

It should first be noted that I think Penn DOT (PA Dept. of Transportation) has been really lazy lately. I don't see what is so hard about keeping the roads safe. I would like to make note on this blog that when I would be driving to work around 4am, I would see Penn DOT trucks parked along side the road doing nothing. It's nice to see that our tax dollars are being spent on a couple of lazy guys that like to sleep.

Now, I was drving along one of our beautiful roadways in the great state of Pennsylvania (by the way, it should also be noted that I used to love the slogan "You've Got a Friend In Pennsylvania" that used to be on license plates) when I noticed on a particular section it appeared to be snow covered. It was snowing so I assumed that it was just a section they hadn't got to. But it wasn't snowing bad or anything. As I was driving I slowed down to a safe speed so that I could avoid a crash. The lanes were mostly clear except right down the middle, so I was driving over a coating of snow that was about a half inch or more. All of a sudden, as I was negoitating a turn, my car began to slide out of control. I was lucky to manage a save, as I began sliding into another lane when a car was coming. I managed to stay in my lane but then I almost slid over the side of a hill. Luckily my tires got away from the snow and I got slowed down. It was a close call for sure. Then when I told my dear mother of the incident, she just laughed at me like I exaggerate every thing that goes on in my life. Whatev. The point is Penn DOT should take better care of the roadways, otherwise a somewhat famous individual could have died today. That is all of my story. I hope you all learned a valuable lesson today. Godspeed.

Before I go here are a couple things you should know. On ESPN.com, Rick Reilly, the guy who used to write for Sports Illustrated, wrote a great piece on Beer Pong. I am sure Bones will leave a post sometime in the next day or two either endorsing it, or calling it jibberish. And the picture of the chick in this post is my new girlfriend. Not really, but she probably wants me anyway.

TV Shows I Miss

Here we are for another piece of journalistic triumph from your friend Trick called: TV Shows I Miss. Last time we took a look at Clone High, an amazing show that got the shit can way before it ran it's course. Now, I'm going to take a look back to my childhood to recall a bad-ass cartoon called "The Real Ghostbusters."



The show was based off of the movie of the same name. It's about some scientists who catch and... Look if you don't know what Ghostbusters is you need punched in the testicles/ovaries so you can't spread your seed and populate the world with more sad excuses for humans like yourself. The show was the reason my childhood was not lame. I could have been watching Barney, or some stupid ass show like Power Rangers but no, I was watching some dudes beat the shit out of ghosts and all things evil. Now, there was another cartoon that was on around the same time called just "Ghostbusters," I'm not gonna lie, I watched the shit. However, I look back and wish I could kick my own ass because it was a cheap excuse for a cartoon. There was a damn gorilla that was busting ghosts.




What the Fuck ?????


Shit was just dumb. A gorilla would kill both of those cockbags way before he would bust ghosts. The show was based off of a 70's show that had two goof balls and a gorilla doing stupid shit. Look, I understand that this was the "origial ghostbusters" but it's pretty fuckin lame to have an ape (like Stein) running around trying to bust some demons and shit. Fuck that show.



"The Real Ghostbusters" was the bomb because the movies it was based on kicked ass and had some of the best comedians ever. I miss being a kid sitting on my couch and watching it and saying "oh Slimer, how I wish your were my friend. Oh man I just wee wee'd in my pants." Then come August I would be looking forward for my birthday where I could get a plastic proton pack from my parents and go outside and find some dick head ghosts to catch. Now, I loathe my birthday cause it's another reason for my family to get together and engauge in more depressing talk about which one of thier friends died or is in the hospital and how thier bowel movements are coming along. To be young....


So there you have it again folks your most recent intallment of TV Shows I Miss. Until next time... watch some hilarity from the show.

TV Shows I Miss

Here is the first ever installment of "TV Shows I Miss". I will start doing this regularly until I feel like I don't want to do them anymore. I’m going to start off with a little known and sadly short lived show called Clone High. It was created by the same guys who do the now ABC comedy Scrubs. Clone High was ended way before it’s time and was one of my personal favorites. It was shown in an after school spot on MTV from November of 02’ to February of 03’. The reason for the show’s early departure was because people in India threatened to go on a hunger strike because of how the writers portrayed Gandhi as the non-stop party machine. I’m too lazy to type in the entire plot, so click on the link below to see the show’s intro which sums most of it up:

Clone High Theme: http://youtube.com/watch?v=_ZFdz2vwU20

It revolved around the central characters of Abe Lincoln, Gandhi, Joan of Arc, JFK, and Cleopatra. Other cloned historical figures would pop up randomly throughout the show to add a little bit of flavor. The show played out like your typical teen drama, with love, sex, death, best friend betrayals, drinking, ADD and puberty. But instead of annoying people like James Vandertwat in "Dawson’s Creek," it was done with animated clones. Its point was to make a mockery of the typical teen drama, and it did so very effectively. Still the show had heart behind it that could not be denied, especially in later episodes that sadly did not get seen on MTV because the show was dropped after it's controversy. The writing was amazing and the humor was similar to Scrubs in a lot of ways. You really had to pay attention get some of the jokes and you actually needed to know a little about history to pick up on some of the references. Will Forte, Nicole Sullivan, Donald Faison, Michael McDonald, Christa Miller and a bunch of other people who you will see on Scrubs, lend the voice talent to the show. Special guests would appear usually every week like Jack Black, Marylin Manson, Mandy Moore, Tom Green, Ashley Parker Angel (my personal hero) and Michael J Fox as Gandhi’s remaining kidney. More importantly John Stamos also had a guest spot on the show (how about them apples bitches? Uncle Jesse is the bee’s knees). Bottom line, the show was T-riffic and if you go on youtube you can see more clips of the show like the one below. The thing that sucks donkey nuts for fans such as myself, is that the show came from Canada so if you want the DVD you have to do what I did and order it from the Canadian version of Amazon (And no they don't just sell syrup and copies of the John Candy movie Canadian Bacon. You racist bastards). Thus concludes the first ever installment of TV shows I miss, drink it up like a Daniel Plainview milkshake baby, because more of these bitches will be on the way.

Best of Clone High Episode 1 : http://youtube.com/watch?v=1JOFJO46vog