Saturday, February 28, 2009

Jason Calls His Mom: The Dishes

This is the latest of a series of videos in which I call my mom because I don't know how to do simple things.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

There is a God. Shitney is OUT!

This Will be short and sweet. Ryan Whitney is gone (cue applause and fanfare)! If you have been a loyal follower of our blog here, you are well aware of my long standing hatred for Ryan Whitney. I hated him before it was the cool thing to do. It seems over the last few weeks people have been joining in thinking they were the first to be anti-Whitney. I Assure you they were not. I have hated him for quite some time. People called me crazy when I would say he is the worst defensive player on the team and makes more mistakes than a bum like Eric Godard (editorial note: if you are reading this Mr. Godard you are not really a bum please don't punch me in the face). One of my best friends and fan of the blog Sam has been a long hater of Whitney and I have to give him props for propelling my extreme dislike for him into the realm of pure hatred. Thanks Sam. So even if we didn't get much in return for him, anything is better than that ass clown. Hell, I would have taken Michele Oullet back for Whitney. I think it was a move to get a cheap decent player and some cap room to possibly bring in a big name with an even bigger trade. I'm interested to see how it goes before the trade deadline. We will keep you all posted. Until next time kids.

Penguins Trade Analysis

This is old news by now. The trade was announced around 1pm, so I am very late on this, but here is my take on the trade.
Overall I think that this helps the Penguins. Ryan Whitney was a decent defenceman. He was overpaid in my opinion which I feel lead to him being traded. It was obvious he was gone though, considering he was playing like dick the last couple of weeks. Whitney is a solid d-man, he was just overpaid and underachieving which lead to him being ousted.

Now on to the players the Pens acquired. From Anaheim, the Pens got Chris Kunitz and Chris Tangradi. Kunitz, who is 29, has 16 goals, 19 assists, 55 penalty minutes this season. His career high is 25 goals and 60 points with Anaheim during the 2006/2007 season. He is 6-1 and 198-pounds. Tangradi, age 20, on the other hand is still playing in the OHL. He is a 6-4, 221-pounds and so far this season has 87 points (38 G, 49 A) making him the 2nd leading scorer in the OHL.

I think this was a solid trade for the Penguins. First they got a guy who can play right now in Kunitz, a guy who scores some goals and looks to be more of a role player, which is somthing that they need right now. I suppose he will probably be like a Kevin Stevens type perhaps. Regardless he brings experience, having won a cup with Anaheim. Tangradi was the other player acquired and I think he could possibly be a guy that scores maybe 30 goals in the NHL. It's a little early to tell right now, but he has size and he looks to be a solid offensive player.

I think this helps the Penguins in the long run. Getting rid of Whitney will free up some room under the salary cap and I think allow the Pens to acquire a winger for Crosby, either at the deadline this year or during the off-season. So smart move on the Pens part. As for Tangradi, he could evolve into a forward with the same skill as Angelo Esposito, who the Pens traded for Hossa last year, which was also a smart move. Hopefully the trade makes the Penguins a better team in the long run.

Here is some more analysis... looks at the trade

The Hockey News offers analysis too


So I am at work and since my job is not fun right now, I see no other way to be productive other then to write to you all and let you know what is new and going on here in Pittsburgh.

NFL free agency starts tonight at 12:01 am and what does that mean for the Steelers. Well there is good and bad news to come. Unrestricted free agents for us are: QB Charlie Batch,P Mitch Berger ,CB Fernando Bryant,
OT Trai Essex ,LB Keyaron Fox, LB Andre Frazier ,LB Arnold Harrison ,G Chris Kemoeatu ,QB Byron Leftwich, CB Bryant McFadden ,OT Marvel Smith ,DE Orpheus Roye, and WR Nate Washington

So here is my quick take on our unrestricted free agents:

Batch should and will stay he is a Pittsburgh guy, quality player , and cheap. Berger, Bryant,Leftwich, Roye, Smith : all these guys all have served their purposes on the team or have worn out their welcome and are realisticly not worth signing back. Thanks guys enjoys your ring.

Fox, Frazier, Harrison, Essex : these guys are all worth hanging on to and I don't think we will lose them, they are great role players that do the little things so well. These guys are the ones that are willing to do anything for you to step on the field.

B- Mac is really the only guy I see we need to keep. He is a physical shut down corner. It is time for you, Steelers, to step up and write the damn check. This guys has earned it. Ike and B- Mac as your corners for the future teams better come up with some schemes then just the wildcat to confuse this defense. As far as I am hearing B- Mac is as good as gone cause he is the most talented free agent as his position and will probably grab more money some where else. Nate Washington is another one I am hearing is as good as gone. I am hearing he could wind up being a #2 receiver somewhere for another team. I am fine with that. I like Nate, but we drafted Limas " I can catch a cold" Sweed for a reason.

The biggest joke of the day that I read on Pittsburgh Post - Gazette was that this shitty no talent hack is going to get his pay day somewhere other then Pittsburgh due to the fact that no one in his position is up for free agency. Chris Kemoeatu is suppose to get a big contract from other teams in the NFL, well good luck guys I am glad we in Pittsburgh aren't falling for this free agent bust. Damn I wish I could go into work every day and do nothing besides screw up and just be a big lard and earn a pay day like this guy. If someone signs this guy for more then 1.7 million a yr it will be obvious that economic times aren't are bad as they seem if you have dumb money spend on him.

Restricted: OT Willie Colon ,FB Sean McHugh ,CB Anthony Madison ,
G Jeremy Parquet, and S Anthony Smith: all these guys will more then likely be back due to the fact that they are cheap with the exception of Colon, who they are working on a tender offer as we speak. Yes folks even big mouth Anthony Smith, who never even dressed for the playoffs will have another shot to go out and back up that diaherra mouth of his. What a waste of a pick, makes me think if Jemaine Stephens, Troy Edwards, and another defensive stopper Ricardo Coclough. lol

So by the sounds of it the Buccos got off to a big start tearing the cover off the ball yesterday. Thanks to Bices' blog I got more information then what I was intending on hearing for the rest of my life about lazy ass Paulino.

My question is this the last time we will see that Pirates over .500 and have a winning record. Stay tuned, someone here at ClassicGangOnly will keep you updated. Maybe if we start getting more hits we could afford to bring on Lanny as a writer for us, seeing he his jobless.

BREAKING NEWS: Pens trade the most over rated player on their team Ryan Whitney. Wow...who did Craig Patrick and the Pens hire as magician to pull this one off.

BREAKING NEWS: CRIS aNgel was spotted at Cheerleaders Strip club down in the Strip Districtlate last night. He must have been celebrating his biggest magic trick pull off of all time. The lucky winner (loser) Anaheim Ducks. QUACK QUACK QUACK!! THIS JUST IN THE ANAHEIM DUCKS JUST HIRED GORDON BOMBAY TO COACH THE DUCKS TO A STANLEY CUP FINALS APPEARENCE!! Hell, that is what it will take to get them to the finals as long as they have Ryan Shitney on their team. Good luck Ducks or (*UCKS)!

Santonio Holmes has just also waived his right to a hearing on his charges on possesion of weed. Actually, I think we as good people of the law should not waive anything, but shake his hand for that amazing grab that earned us the title 6X SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS and him SUPERBOWL MVP. Thanks Holmes.. get it that is my use of ebonics . Now puff puff pass, quit F'N up the rotation Santonio.

The forecast down here is not bad the weather is overcasted and about 40 or so on this fine Thursday afternoon on Feb.26,2009. The only unfortunate thing is as I am attempting to blog I have Bones' Favorite artist blasting on my radio, Kid Rock. So, if you don't like this blog them you can send all your complaints to that " no talent hack" ,as Bones would put it.

Well guys, fortunately for me the time has come for me to leave work. Which is good news for you because you don't have to waste any more of your time reading this

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Live Blog: Pirates vs. Phillies

Hey Gang! I have nothing better to do today so I'm going to blog live from Bradenton, Florida! And by Bradenton, Florida I mean Shitty Boston. Yay. I'll give you my take on this meaningless game, as well as how I feel about new announcer Tim Everett.

Congratulations to Steve Blass on his 50th year of Pirates Announcing. (I think thats what I heard but I'm not sure. Maybe its his 50 years in the organization. Either way Blass is old!)

So Chris Bootcheck is starting today and he led off the game with a first pitch strike. Greg made a comment about how Joe Kerrigan wants to see a lot of first pitch strikes this year. No Shit Greg. Although this has been a major problem of Pirates pitchers in the past. Then again what hasn't been a problem of Pirates Pitchers?

And Bootcheck sets them down 1-2-3. Striking out Shane Victorino.

And here comes the Buccos.....

Nyjer Morgan leads off against Jamie-Old As Shit-Moyer. One hopper to Rollins and he's out.

Freddy gets a single. Hopefully he's healthy this year and returns to some semblance of his 2007 form.

I'm beginning to realize how boring its going to be if I blog about every at bat so I'm only going to mention important things. Lesson Learned.

Chan Ho Park explains to Ronnie how to suck effectively.

RONNIE PAULINO SIGHTING: I completely forgot Paulino was traded to the Phillies. Apparently he made the trip but won't be playing today because he is asleep.

After Striking out Ryan Howard, The Bullpen Bully, Matt Capps just walked the bases loaded. Luckily, this is only spring training.

Capps just got out with an inning ending double play. Tits!

Apparently Walk and Wehner aren't in Florida yet. Well they are in Florida, just at the airport bar.

And Laroche strikes out looking. His in-season approach to spring training is getting off to a beautiful start.

Moyer walks back to back Buccos. Runners on first and second. LaRoche out.

And Jack ends the inning with a two hopper.

On to the third...

Jimmy-our fans suck-Rollins just hit a one out single off the Big Chief. And yes, Philly fans do suck!

And Rollins scores from 2nd on a Raul Ibanez single.

Greg and Steve were just poking fun at how big the Chief is. This reminds me of another fat ass pitcher we used to have.....

So my internet just went out but I guess Freddy is working on the cycle with an opposite field double. I'm guessing Morgan got on and scored a run cuz it's now Buccos 1 Phillies 1.

And Adam is up to his old tricks, striking out again. I like LaRoche. I really do. I mean his theme song is from the Karate Kid and who doesn't love that song?

And our Rule 5 draft pick, Donnie Veal, is on the mound. He gives off a lead-off single Jenkins. Donnie is not related to the great Bob Veal. Although he may be related to Ann-the wall-Veal. Arrested Development reference, anyone?

UPDATE: Donnie Veal is black. Ann Veal is not. There goes my theory that they are related. Also, Veal got out of the inning. Apparently a nice double play was turned by the BFF's Freddy and Jack.

Ronnie woke up and seems to be catching behind the plate! Oh wait, he's behind the plate but he's still asleep.

We have 2 aboard for Jack Wilson. He's probably my favorite Pirates and I'm glad he's still on the team. It's hard to believe that his 200 hit season was 5 years ago.

And Jack gives them a two run lead but it went off someones glove. Brandon Moss scores on the Wilson Base-Hit.

2-1 Pirates

Jeffy Salazar, pinch hitting for Nyjer Morgan, swings at one out of the zone and strikes out.

Shelby Ford hits a line-drive home-run over the right field wall 5-1 Bucs!

And the inning is over.

Major Substitutions: Diaz, McCutchen, Walker, and Hinske are in somewhere. You can probably figure out where.

And Paulino is at the plate with a bat in his hands. Don't let it fool you though. Yes, he is still asleep.

Tim Everett has entered the booth. I'd say he has a good baseball voice. He sounds familiar, but can't pinpoint who he sounds like right now.

The pitcher accidentally hit Paulino's bat and the ball flew in the air but someone caught it. Paulino out!

Hinske makes a fine catch in left field and we are out of the inning.

Diaz gets a base-hit. Steve Pearce hits one inside the third base line for extra bases and Diaz is waved home.

6-1 Pirates!

Wow, judging by the views counter people are actually reading the blog. Hopefully they aren't all Huha. Feel free to post comments telling me how awesome or how much of a douchebag I am!

The bases are loaded as Hinske draws the walk. Pine-Richlands own Neil Walker steps to the plate.

Walker gets out at third but a run still scores. Credit Walker with the RBI.

7-1 Pirates!

Machado gets a base hit.

8-1 Pirates!

Double Play ends the inning.

And Tim Everett is taking us the rest of the way. Lanny is somewhere in a corner crying.

Mateo gets out of the inning. Nothing too exciting happened here.

In other news, ESPN 2 shows soccer in the afternoon. You know why? Because Soccer sucks and nobody is going to watch it anyway.

And Shelby Ford follows up his home-run with a pop out. If he makes the big league club, Greg Brown can say "And Ford "Drives" in a run! hahahahahahahahah. Get it?

3 up and 3 down go the Bucs. Let's go to the Seventh!

Craig Hansen is now pitching for the Bucs. You all remember him of course as part of the Bay Trade. Yeah, the one with blazing speed but no control.

I just checked over at some of the comments at the PBC Blog. Baywatch doesn't seem to care for my language.

wrote re: Play ball: Exhibition season begins (Day 12)
on Wed, Feb 25 2009 7:45 PM

jasonbice is using bad words over there. I guess I'm used to a family-friendly blog.

Well in baseball they use bad words, so catch 22.

Anyway, Hansen Strikes out 2. 3 up and 3 down. Looking Good.

And our first round pick, Pedro Alvarez strikes out and looks like crap doing it. First at-bat jitters?

Hinske hits a long fly ball but its caught in front of the bullpen. 2 Outs.

Inning over. Let's go to the 8th. Pirates still lead 8-1.

Evan Meek comes to the mound. For those of you who don't remember. Evan Meek was the rule 5 draft pick last year who was responsible for us losing the home opener.

Fairly uneventful inning. Meek does a swell job.

These spring training games get boring towards the end eh?

Well hey gang, it's been real. I'm going to cut out early because I have other things to do. Like watch Full House. Let me know what you think of the live blog.

Here is the Pirates official recap of today's game.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

WWIII: Crosby vs. Ovechkin

So now that hockey fans have the rivalry they so desperately wanted, I'm gonna give my take on it. I'll have links at the end for you to read and get up to date on what is going on.

I know I've said this before and I'll say it again: I love the way Ovechkin plays the game. He plays hard and he plays to win. I don't care who you are, you'd love this guy if he was on your team. But when a guy goes after another guy that isn't cool. Ovechkin tried to wreck Malkin in just about every game the two played earlier this season. Crosby now seems to be the guy that Ovie has his sights set on. I really just don't understand the point of trying to intentionally cheap shot a guy. I mean, Ulf Samuellson, as Pens fans know, ended the career of Boston Bruins star Cam Neely in a playoff game a while back. It's not cool. It is good for the game to have two stars duking it out for supremicy, but if you are going to cheap shot a guy, it's not a healthy rivalry and needs to be addressed. I don't like it when anyone goes after another player with the intent to cheap shot him. It's just flat out wrong. So I guess I am hoping that Ovie takes it down a notch and doesnt decide to cheapshot Crosby. Bottom line seems to be that the Caps are taking a little too much joy in the fact the Pens are floundering this season. That's very classy. Thankfully the two teams play only one more game this season. Unless that is, the two teams meet in the playoffs...

Check out PensBlog for more on Redskins TE Chris "I think I'm so" Cooley and what he said about Crosby.

The Post-Gazette has a little tid-bit on the Crosby/Ovechkin fued.

A Washington Post columnist shares his two cents.

The NY Times had a story about the fued.
Also, here is an update on some trade rumors as we near the deadline...
Fox has a list of "rumors" yinz should check out.
Sporting News is reporting a Lecavalier to Montreal rumor.
Hockey Buzz has some trade rumors as well.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Marc-Andre Failure!

Insert Gay Joke Here

Since I live in Boston now I don't get to see many Penguins games, so imagine my delight when I turned on the TV and saw they were on NBC. When I first tuned in the score was 3-2 Capitals. Not too bad. With the fire power the Pens have they should be able to tie it up in no time, right? Now imagine my horror as I watched the Capitals reel off two straight goals on the seemingly retarded Marc-Andre Fleury. His problem is, and always has been that he doesn't make the easy saves he should. Sure he makes ridiculously tough ones alot of the time but if you can't stop the gimmes then what does it matter? Now you may argue, "Well What about the playoffs? He was awesome!" That may be so but being good in the playoffs doesn't mean shit if you can't get there. Dammit Fleury! Get your head in the game!