Thursday, September 11, 2008

Preview: Steelers vs. Browns

So the Steelers are set to take on everyone's chic pick to win the AFC North. What all the prognosticators failed to mention that the Browns still have the same problems affecting them as last year. Namely, a shitty defense.

Dallas dispatched the Browns easily last week. Tony Romo, who is said by many to be better than Large Benjamin despite winning exactly dick, torched the Browns secondary for 300 some yards.

What I see happening for the Browns: The Browns won't give the Steeler's shaky line a real test because their pass rush is average. They paid Shaun Rogers all this money to stuff the run. Rogers, who is said to have all the talent in the world, is more or less a fat, lazy pussy. Kamerion Wimbley is the only player worth a damn on their defense (obviously because he's a former Seminole). Their secondary as mentioned before is pretty bad on top of being banged up at safety.

Anderson and company will get their yards and points but this will happen long after the outcome has been decided. Sgt. Winslow and Braylon Edwards will have decent games. Former cocaine peddler, Jamal Lewis, will get a whole lot of nothing. On a tangent here, if any of us got caught setting up cocaine deals via phone we'd be locked up for about five years. This asshole got to spend a summer in a country club prison and was released.

What I see happening for the Steelers: Look for Ben to have his way with this secondary to the tune of 250 yards and at least two scores. Willie will see the 100 yard mark again this week getting a bulk of the carries in the second half to seal the deal. Santonio Holmes will vastly improve on last week's performance with at least 80 yards and a score.

On the defensive side of the ball, the Steelers will shut down the coke peddler and force Anderson to bomb away. He'll get his but he'll also take a couple sacks and throw a pick or two.

PREDICTION: Steelers 31, Clowns 20

Bonus prediction of the week: Ohio State @ USC

I see ESPN has already given this game a clever little moniker: The Collision at the Coliseum. If you think all the shameless self-promotion is bad just wait till they get a hold of the SEC next year. The nuthuggery will become unbearable.

Back on point here...

Chris "Beanie" Wells is now listed as doubtful for this game. I have a hard time rooting for someone with the name Beanie but that's beside the point. I didn't like their chances even if he was healthy. Look for USC to shut down the running game and force Boeckman to beat them which he won't. King Pryor will have a minimal impact on this game.

The vaunted Ohio State defense will help keep USC at bay but I don't see them doing enough offensively to win it. Mark "Dirty" Sanchez and the backfield loaded with former McDonalds all-americans and receivers that were former McShits all-americans will manage enough offense to win. Another tangent here....I think USC is up to something fishy. Why in the hell would all these blue-chip skill positon talent come to USC to ride the pine or split time? Resident crybaby Mitch Mustain transferred from Arkansas just to watch Sanchez start at QB. I dunno just seems to me that Cheatin' Pete is up to something.

Prediction: USC 21 OSU 13

Other college predictions:
Kansas 24 USF 17. Reesing does just enough to win.

Georgia 21, South Carolina 7. South Carolina's defense keeps this close.

Michigan 13, Notre Dame 7. First one to 10 wins. Jimmy Clausen, a.k.a. Sunshine/douche bag, will get sacked at least 5 times.

Fresno State 17, Wisconsin 14. In somewhat of an upset special for the week, look for Fresno to shut down P.J Hill and make Wisconsin QB Allan Everidge to beat them. I don't think he can.

Florida State 49, Chattanooga 0. Young FSU offense gets another confidence builder. Real test for Seminoles next week against Wake Forest.

Random stuff....I see on the new poll I'm somehow a worse person than Hitler and Bin Laden. Very nice.
and I square off in fantasy football and I predict that he'll get beat worse than he beats his penis on Saturday nights.

Until next time......

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