Patriots Lose Brady For Season

BREAKING NEWS

I am sure everyone has heard the news by now. New England Patriots QB Tom Brady will miss the remainder of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. The hit happened in the 1st quarter of the Patriots/Chiefs game. I was able to catch a replay and it was simliar to the hit put on Carson Palmer by Steelers tackle Kimo Von Olehoffen, aka Kimo Therapy. This leaves the Patriots with unproven backup Matt Cassell. This is horrible news for the Patriots. But if you are a fan of any other team in the AFC, then you have to be breathing a sigh of relief. I never like to see another player go down hurt. I respect Tom Brady because he is a good quarterback. But do I like him? Not so much. His injury leaves the favorites of the AFC as the Colts and Steelers. Don't rule out the Patriots; for all we know this is another one of Bill Bilichecks shenanigans. But you have to wonder who the frontrunner of the AFC East is now. The Bills or the Jets? The Jets are a much improved team with Brett Favre, but even though they beat the Dolphins today, we are still talking about two teams that won a combined 5 games last season.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

Pittsburgh Steelers 2008

The Steelers open their 2008 regular season on Sunday at 1pm against the Houston Texans at Heinz Field. In case anyone cares, I will be unable to watch the game since I have to work. It sucks. But anyway the Steelers could struggle this season. Alot of people think they could do better than last year, and that could be. But they could also do worse. So many unknowns about their offensive line with the loss of Alan Faneca and of course certain people who write for the Post-Gazette whom we will not name, feel the Steelers defense is "over-the-hill" with so many older players. Whatever. I'm here to tell you what to expect from the Steelers in 2008. Here it goes...

Best Case Scenario

So what if the Steelers play to their full potential? This is how I think it would play out. The Steelers would open the season with four straight wins over the Texans, Browns, Eagles and Ravens. I honestly think that the Steelers could beat the Jaguars, but they can't win every game and if they are going to lose, it will probably be to Jacksonville. Going into the bye week the Steelrs would be 4-1. Coming out of the bye, they play the Bengals and win but lose to the defending world champion Giants to fall to 5-2. After the loss to the Giants the Steelers beat the Redskins to reach a record of 6-2. The Steelers lose to the Colts and then beat the Chargers and Bengals to end their three game homestand with a record of 8-3. Pittsburgh then heads to New England where they lose to the Patriots, slipping to 8-4. They win out the regular season with wins over the Cowboys, Ravens, Titans and Browns to finish the season at 12-4.

Worse Case Scenario

Suppose the Steelers regress in 2008. Whatever the case they aren't as good as last year. They lose to the Texans and Browns to start off 0-2. Wins over the Eagles and Ravens get the Steelers back to .500 with a 2-2 record, but they lose to Jacksonville, falling to 2-3. They beat the Bengals and then lose to the Giants, leaving them with a 3-4 going into the game with the Redskins. They beat Washington and improve to 4-4, but then lose two straight to the Colts and Chargers to open the three game homestand, giving them a 4-6 record. They rebound with a win over the Bengals and then lose to the Patriots and Cowboys. With a record of 5-8, the Steelers then post wins over the Ravens and Titans but fall in the final game of the season to finish at 7-9.

My Prediction

The Steelers might not win 12 games this year, but I think they are at least a team that can win 10 games. They should be able to sweep the Ravens and beat the Redskins and Titans. I think it will be tough for San Diego(November 16)and Dallas(December 7) to come into Pittsburgh and win so late in the season. The Steelers have key games against New England and Indianapolis which could decide playoff spots and Cleveland and Jacksonville are also going to be tough opponents. The Giants game shouldn't be overlooked either. The Steelers should finish with a 10-6 or 11-5 record.

My Fantasy Football Post

It seems like everyone and their grandfathers second cousins landlord are making posts about fantasy football. Because I don't feel like being left out of the loop I am going to tell you all about my bad ass fantasy squad.



QB - Carson Palmer

So Palmer didn't have a stellar year this past season. He should come back into form this year. With HOcho Cinco and Douchmanzada as one of the best one two punches in the league, I think he might bouch back to become the top tier QB he has the potential to be.



RB - Ladainian Tomlinson

Do I even have to say anything else? The man is a machine bottom line. He will be good for 15 points a week at least.



RB - Selvin Young

Ok so this pick is a little wierd. I had picked Ronnie Brown before word got out that Ricky Williams is going to be the starter in Miami. I picked up Young in late rounds and he could be a big sleeper this year. He is the starting back for Denver and hopefully can come into form this season as a young stand out back.



WR - Larry Fitzgerald

Top 5 reciever in the league. On a team where you have Boldin as well he still produces. With a fat new contract and Boldin getting up there in age, Fitzgerald should produce big numbers this year.



WR - Santonio Holmes

Santonio should be a great number 2 guy for me this year. He should complete his full transition this season to become the Steelers number one reciever. Hines is aging and will continue to produce but Santonio will put up some serious numbers this season. He will be good for a good number of TD's and hopefully 1000 yards.



WR/RB - Jerricho Cotchery

Jerricho as was previously posted is going to have a great season again. With his new QB, he should put up even better numbers this year. He is the sole reason I won my league last year. He's one of those guys that does not get a lot of press but he really does well.



TE - Jason Witten

Best TE in the league. With Dallas being short on WR's he is going to have a bigger role in the offence this year, even working as slot reciever at times. This should lead to some even bigger numbers for Witten. He is like another reciever and he could put up 10-15 points a week.



K - Shayne Graham

It's a kicker, who cares. But as for kickers he is one of the best.



DEF/ST - Bears

Two words, Hester and Urlacher. Bears defence is always good and creates a lot of turnovers and does not let up a lot of points. Hopefully they will keep putting up the special teams numbers to give that little extra push that my team can use later in the season.


So there you have it that is my starting lineup for this week. I have backup players that are good as well but I don't feel like wrtiing anything else. Until next time, Peace Bitches.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/5/2008

I have one receiver that I know is going to be in my starting line-up from week to week and that's Marques Colston. After that I'm not so sure. The other four guys, Donald Driver, Marvin Harrison, Jerricho Cotchery, and Ted Ginn Jr., aren't bad but they aren't the sure thing receiver I think Colston is. I've been trying to rationalize who I should start and who I should sit and I think its going to go down to the wire. Cotchery is playing the Dolphins, who suck, and I think he can have a huge game so he's definitley going to be my number 2 guy. Driver plays Minnesota, who he's had a good deal of success against in the past, but how good is Aaron Rodgers going to be against the tough Viking D. Harrison used to be the man but coming back from injury and a rusty Manning makes me extremely cautious. Finally, I'm seriously considering Teddy Ginn. Chad Pennington is playing his former team and you know he's going to do his damndest to put it to the Jets. That means lots of passes to Ginn. I hope. Either way it's going to be a game time decision. I'm not really good at them and will probably regret whatever I choose but I'll keep you updated.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/4/2008

Don't pick-up Daunte Culpepper. This should be obvious to everyone anyway, but in the wake of his retirement, I'd just like to bring up how terrible this former Quarterback actually is. Even when he had those two great seasons in 2000 and 2004, he still could never hold onto the football. Daunte Culpepper has played 92 games in the NFL. Daunte Culpepper has fumbled the football 89 times in those 92 career games. Daunte Culpepper has also thrown 94 interceptions during those 92 games. So chances are, if he was your starting Quarterback he was going to turn the ball over almost twice per game.

Also, in those two years when he was really good, he was throwing to Randy Moss and Chris Carter. Fucking Bones could put up decent numbers with those two guys at WR. Keep in mind, he also had 3 shitty seasons with those same guys as well as the shitty seasons he had with the Dolphins, who had no one, and Raiders who had no one.

There's a reason Daunte Culpepper isn't an NFL starter. (Other than the retarded decision to become his own agent.) It's because he's awful. Unless you give him great receivers, he won't be decent, and even then he'll still fumble the football.

I'm also a little bit bitter because I had the "Bones Feeling" about Culpepper last year and drafted him as a back-up. Although he really didn't hurt my team, he was still on it and I blame the reason I finished in last place solely on him. And on Bones. But that's obvious.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

I think I have been a little bit hard on the Pitt football team lately. I could be right or I could be dead wrong about their chances this season, but either way the future holds the answer. But for now I think that I should give Pitt a little bit of a chance. Given their loss to Bowling Green, I am going to break down the Pitt schedule and do a best case/worst case for the Panthers. Here it goes...

Best Case Scenario

OK. Let's break down the schedule and do a best case scenario for Pitt. Even though they lost to Bowling Green, which alot of people think they should have won, we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and just say they had opening day jitters. This week Pitt plays Buffalo. It's a big game because the Panthers need to rebound to have any chance of a winning record this year with Iowa coming in to Pittsburgh the following week. So we'll say Pitt beats Buffalo and then loses to a tough Iowa team. Pitt would be 1-2 after three games. Pitt then beats a lousy Syracuse team and then loses a close game against USF, giving them a record of 2-3. Pitt then reels off 5 wins in a row over Navy, Rutgers, Notre Dame, Louisville and Cincinatti giving them a 7-3 record. With two games left against West Virginia and Connecticut Pitt goes 1-1 with a loss to WVU and win over CT to finish the season with a record of 8-4. That would probably make them bowl eligible and then Dave Wannstedt could keep his job.

Worst Case Scenario

Lets say things don't go so smoothly for the Panthers. Pitt loses to Buffalo and Iowa to open the season at 0-3. They chalk up win number one against Syracuse and then lose to USF giving them a record of 1-4. Pitt then gets victories over Navy and Rutgers to improve to a 3-4 record. Pitt would then lose three of their last five games to Notre Dame, Cincinatti and West Virginia to finish with a record of 5-7 on the season.

The Verdict

Pitt faces a tough uphill climb after the opening loss to Bowling Green, so lets say Pitt beats Buffalo and loses to Iowa to open the season at 1-2. Give Pitt wins over Syracuse and Navy and a loss to USF. Their record at that point would be 3-3. Going into a home game against Rutgers Pitt will win and then carry the momentum to a victory in South Bend giving them a record of 5-3. Pitt loses to Louisville at home and loses to Cincinatti and West Virginia. Ending the season with a win over Connecticut would give the Panthers an overall record of 6-6 on the season. It is really hard to say how Pitt will respond this week. If they lose to Buffalo we are looking at a worst case scenario. Somehow though I don't think they can beat Iowa. The Big Ten seems to be better than the Big East. Pitt should have at least one guarenteed win over Syracuse. If Pitt would lose to the Orange, all hope is lost for the Panthers in 2008.

Pitt plays Buffalo on Saturday at Heinz Field. The game starts at 6pm and as far as I know won't be a televised game.

College Football's Most Asked Questions

My email inbox has been overrun with questions from all of our loyal readers. So I decided to take the top 5 and answer them for all to see. Here we go...

1) Will it be Paterno or Bowden who end the season as college football's all-time wins leader as head coach? Who knows. I think Paterno is far more stubborn and will probably end up coaching another season at least. I am a firm believer that if you love to do somthing, you should continue to do it for as long as you wish. I think both Paterno and Bowden have earned that right. They are coaching legends and should walk away when they feel ready. Bowden is, but Paterno apparently isn't. I am willing to bet that it ends in a tie and then Paterno takes the lead next season after Bowden retires. I love Penn State, but I hope JoePa doesn't hang on too long.

2) How bad is Pitt? I know I said they were shit on this blog earlier. And I think they are. But how bad could they possibly be. Here is my prediction. Pitt will manage to pull out a win against Buffalo to even their record at 1-1. After that everyone will be on the bandwagon and Pitt will be back on the straight and narrow again. Then the Iowa Hawkeyes come to town and Pitt will lose to the mediocre Big Ten team to slip to 1-2. Pitt will then stomp Syracuse to improve to 2-2. Syracuse is horrible and has been ever since Donovan McNabb left them. If Pitt loses to Syracuse consider the season a loss and send the Pitt coaching staff a thank you note for fucking up the Panthers for the last four seasons. The Panthers will then lose back-to-back games against USF and Navy to slip to 2-4. With the season all but lost, Pitt does their best to trick their fans again with back-to-back wins against Rutgers and Notre Dame to even their record at 4-4. Pitt then will defeat Louisville in a close game to make everyone think that the Panthers are finally on the rise with their record at 5-4 with three games remaining in the season. Pitt then loses their remaining three games to Cincinatti, West Virginia and Connecticut to end the season at 5-7 and out of Bowl contention. Thats it folks. Don't even bother watching the games, cuz you know the outcome.

3) How does Rick Neuheisel still have a coaching job? UCLA made a great decision to bring in coach N. That is evident from the comeback victory that UCLA had over Tennessee on Monday night. But during the broadcast when ESPN was reviewing Neuheisel's coaching resume the color commentator mentioned that every school that Neuheisel coached at faced sanctions from the NCAA after he left. His most famous blunder was while at the University of Washington for some kind of betting thing. I hope he doesn't screw UCLA like he did his last two stops.

4) What was Rich Rodriguez thinking? Apparently he wasn't. West Virginia will have a much better season than Michigan. When people are talking about Penn State actually beating Michigan this season, you know it must be bad for the Wolverines. I hope Rodriguez gets fired from Michigan and never coaches again (But that is just a personal preferance).

5) Will Tim Tebow win the Heisman for a second straight season? I respect Tim Tebow. I think that it takes alot for a guy like him to lead the kind of life he does, with so much peer pressure around him. Overall Tebow is a dual threat with his arm and legs. Urban Meyer's spread offense increases his threat level. I say he wins again. Unless he gets injured, silly.

Until next time, always remember to have sex with girls on your back because girls can't get pregnant that way!

Top Ten Overrated and Over hyped NFL Players

I just wanted to write about something that bothers me. People who are over payed and over hyped for never doing anything more then what they are suppose to do. These are people that strulggle at doing that and never do the above and beyond to take their team to the next level.

Well here they are and yes in this particular order on how much they fucking suck and are over hyped and over rated:

1. Vince Young- He just wins games..I am tired of hearing that. He needs more weapons.. Well put up some numbers and win playoff games...Mike Vick did that shit too.

2. Matt Leinart- Christ you would think this guy was Joe Namath for as much attention he gets off the field. He probably has better luck in a reality tv show or something then ever being an NFL QB.

3. Ray Lewis- Grandpa Ray, who get more credit for tackles he wasn't in on as oppose to ones that he was.

4.Chad Johnson- Hey Chad put and shut up.. You got a damn Pro Bowl QB and WR core. Then ask for a contract or a trade. Of course you could ask to be traded for Jerry Rice and maybe Dancing with the Stars will eat the rest of your contract.

5.Troy Polamolu - never plays how do we know how great he is, because he did at one season or so. Hey Troy put the rosary down and help us comeplete a Hail Mary or two.

6.Steven Jackson- Quit being a pussy and go play. No one made you sign a contract and for crying out loud you do not need to buy all the jewlery in the store and a fleet of cars and you ll have tons of money if your career ends tomorrow. Why don't you go out and show me something before you hold out you injured pussy.

7.Clinton Portis - hey bud you got so many damn disguses.. I am starting to think you dressing up as a football player every sunday is another of the many. Well if it is, atleast we know your fooling you stupid ass owner Daniel Synder. I know your not fooling me.. I'll never draft your shitty fantasy ass.

8.Dallas Cowboys Team- Can someone tell me why the hell year in and year out these guys get so much press and hype. Christ you would think they have won more Superbowls then playoff games under Tony Romo. Oh wait they have fucking zero.

9.Reggie Bush- Hey Reggie I don't if anyone has told you yet,but their are tons of brothers of your caliber out there. You gotta have skills to play in this league. Although, We know you do have one skill and that is fucking hot bitches like Kim Kardashin.

10.Brady Quinn- Although I can't blame all this on Brady because someone else has just been having a miracle season and stopping him from playing. But for being a bench warmer have you seen anyone with more endorsements. I mean how do you explain that one...here use are product you can be as ripped and fucking cool as Brady Quinn and oh yeah you too can sit the bench. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa HGH MILKSHAKES!!!

Thanks for reading, I hope you agree and found it entertaining because I sure don't when Sundays roll around and these fucking idiots are making more money then a lot of us will ever see in our lifetimes!!

Defending the Pirates trades

Now it's blatantly obvious that the Pittsburgh Pirates are absolutely crapticular. However, as of late, I've been hearing people bash the tandem of CEO Frank Coonelly and GM Neil Huntington. I, for one, happen to be completely on board with what they are trying to do. I will now explain to you all why I agree with what they are doing with our beloved Pirates.

1. The Bay and Nady trades

This seems to the the hot button issue amongst Pirate fans. People have told me, "Bones, if we would have kept those two and our pitching wasn't awful we might make a run at .500." Let's face it, if there was a perfect storm for the Pirates this season (Bay, Nady, Doumit, etc hitting like they were, Snell and Gorzo didn't have their heads up their asses, and so on) they would still be behind the Brewers and Cubs. Might make a run at .500 but aside from that nothing special. I don't want a run at .500. I want a consistant winner. Coonelly and Huntington aren't striving for mediocrity.

The past GM was criticized for buying high and selling low. I'm not going to mention his name because he was so god damn horrible at his job but wikipedia has all of his failures in one nice neat little package. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Littlefield.

The values of Bay and Nady weren't going to get any higher. Especially that of Nady who was hitting way past his career numbers and considering he hasn't played more than 120 games in a season.

In return for these trades, they received a plethora of pitchers (in case none of you have noticed the pitching has been horrible). Maybe none of these pitchers will be all-stars but the lack of pitching depth in the organization is pathetic. Huntington is trying his damndest to restock the cupboard that the prior GM (who shall still remain nameless) left bare.

They also acquired Jose Tabata, a 20 year old, ultimate boom or bust prospect. However, he has hit the ball extremely well down in Altoona since his arrival. In one trade, he became the second best prospect in the Pirates system. Players like Tabata are sorely lacking in the Pirates system. His ceiling is higher than Ricky Williams and Matt Jones.



Brandon Moss and Andy LaRoche came over in the Bay trade. Also coming along was pitcher Bryan Morris (according to some sources he is one of our top pitching prospects now). Moss and LaRoche have had a rough go of it so far, as do most young baseball players. They have the potential to succeed.

What it comes down to in my mind with the trades is this: Were the Pirates going to get over the top with Bay and Nady? The answer is no.

2. Drafting

The mess with top choice, Pedro Alvarez, not withstanding the new regime did excellent in the draft. The prior GM wouldn't have had the nuts to draft Alvarez because of signability issues. We'll wait and see what happens with Pedro and his "advisor" Scott BorASS to pass final judgement.

After the Moskos/Wieters abortion (which still pisses me off to this very day), they had to make a statement that we aren't cheap and this isn't the same old shit. For your own perusal I'll give you Moskos's stats http://www.thebaseballcube.com/players/M/daniel-moskos.shtml and those of Mr. Wieters http://www.thebaseballcube.com/players/W/matt-wieters.shtml. Comforting thought isn't it? I'm going to go on to something else before I puke all over the keyboard.

They signed great talent above slot such as Robby Grossman, Quinton Miller, and Wesley Freeman. They've built an baseball academy in the Dominican and signed some players from Latin America. The past GM didn't get the memo that high quality talent comes from Latin America. They weren't able to come to terms with second round pick Tanner Scheppers but he wanted first round money with a bum shoulder. They'll now have two second round picks in next year's draft.

They are finally spending money in the right places. Putting it into the farm system as opposed to washed up/end of the line/re-tread losers. I'm not going name these bums because there are way too many and I don't feel like it. The owner Bob Nutting is actually opening up his wallet to help develop young talent. They have to build from the ground up. If Tampa Bay, the Brewers, Twins, A's can do it, then why can't the Pirates?

The Post-Gazette recently ranked the Pirates top 10 prospects (not counting Pedro) http://postgazette.com/pg/08246/908643-63.stm. The new regime has brought in 4 out of the 10 in just this season. This isn't counting Moss or LaRoche either.

In closing, I can definitely understand the Pirates fans who don't want to sit through another rebuilding project. We've all heard this same song and dance before. 16 losing seasons in a row is inexcusable and embarrassing. The rebuilding wasn't done right under Cam Bonerfay and the nameless GM. I'm convinced that Coonelly and Huntington are going about it correctly. It's going to take time and it's not going to happen overnight but stick with these guys. They'll have the Pirates back to contention.

On a totally unrelated note, I would like to thank Bice for giving me the chance to write here even though he shits all over me. Not literally because that would be weird and gross. How is he in position to give fantasy football tips? Just look who wins. I still haven't figured out how I was responsible for Katrina and AIDS.

Until next time kids....

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/3/2008

Jerricho Cotchery is awesome. I'm just going to say it now. If he is not one of your starting WRs, then you sir are a fool. He's had 82 receptions each of the last two seasons and gained 1130 last year. That was with "Girl-Arm" Pennington throwing to him. Now with Brett Favre at the helm, and Laverneus Coles missing most of the preseason, look for those numbers to go way up. I'm guessing he will catch at least 10 touchdowns this year. So if he's available in your league, then everyone in your league is a bunch of fucking idiots. So don't be an idiot and pick him up.

The Office Has Arrived!

After months and months of waiting, my copy of "The Office" Season 4 has finally come i the mail today. I pre-ordered it last week on Amazon.com and was a little disappointed when the estimated arrival date was September 8th. But it didn't even take that long, obviously. I'm also excited that it came with a copy of the "Dinner Party" script. Now I can read along! Tits!

The only problem I have is with how it was delivered. Apparently our mailbox is too small to put a dvd in so the mailman is supposed to buzz in to see if anyone is in the apartment to pick it up. Around 1PM, I heard this buzz and rushed down the stairs. I ran all the way to the bottom of the steps and found that no one was even at the door. I went back up the steps and noticed a box on the second floor. I live on the fourth floor. I bent down to examine the box and sure enough, it was my Office DVD. This kind of pissed me off because anyone else in the building could have just taken. What the fuck? I think what happened was, the mailman was too lazy to go up the stairs or wait for me, so he just threw my box up as high as he could and it landed on the second floor. What if there was something fragile in the box, like suppose I had ordered a box of baby fetus'. Those would have surely been destroyed. Bah.

Pitt Is Shit!

The University of Pittsburgh football team was supposed to contend this year. Dave Wannstedt was supposed to deliver on his promise this year. This was supposed to be "the year" Pitt finally returned to national prominence. After the huge upset of West Virginia at the end of last season, everyone on this side of the Mason Dixon line believed it. But a sad reality set in on Saturday. Pitt really does stink. Anyone that thinks they might be a "contender" doesn't lose to Bowling Green. Pitt did. Pitt was an embarrasment on Saturday. I am going to say it now. Dave Wannstedt will be fired at the end of the season, maybe earlier. If Pitt really wants to contend they have to do something. I didn't get to watch the game, but from what I heard the play-calling was quite conservative. Maybe Offensive-Coordinator Matt Cavanaugh is the problem. I don't know. But Pitt has to do something if they are serious about contending for a National Championship. There is still hope this year though. Perhaps Pitt's embarrassing loss to Bowling Green was just a case of the Panthers having the jitters on opening day. Who knows. But I doubt that. Pitt really is shit this year.

Here are some more stories about Pitt from the web...
Pitt Fans Get No Bang For Buck (Post-Gazette)
Offense Throws Gutter Ball in Loss (Post-Gazette)
Pitt At Crossroads (Tribune Review)
Pitt AD Still Supports Wannstedt (Tribune Review)
Pitt Looking To Bounce Back (ESPN.com)

The Diary Of A Liquor Store Clerk

Something strange happened today. Actually it was totally normal. It has just been so long since I have been forced to deal with it, that it feels like a decade ago. Another one of our fine snobby customers came into the booze outlet today. All seemed to be normal. It was what appeared to be a nice lady who had some questions about a bottle of wine she had supposedly purchased at our store. I immediately knew she was lying because she kept trying to say she knew where it was at and looked at different bottles, all that had nothing in common, saying that looked like it. Well it wasn't. After she settled on some cheap imported white, she asked me if I would mind looking it up for her. I decided to teach this bitch a lesson. "I would be more than happy to help you find it" I told her. "It should only take a minute or so." So I took my fucking time finding it on our computer. After about six minutes she became frustrated. I could tell by looking at her she was getting a little impatient. "It should only take another minute" I explained "This list is six pages long." She decided that she was going to go into the Giant Eagle and try to piss me off or show that she was unhappy, but I didn't give a shit. I then printed out the page so that when she came back she could see the result. Let's just say it wasn't good for her. When she came back I explained to her that the wine she was seeking was not available in the state of Pennsylvania. "I'm sorry to inform you that it is unavailable in our state" I told her. She was upset and responded by saying "could I ask you another question without you being so rude!" No you didn't. Please tell me you didn't call ME rude. FUCK YOU BITCH. I was upset now and when she asked me if she could order it in from another state, I said "We don't have it in our state. We don't carry it. How much more clear do I have to be?" needless to say She left and I was happy. Just another day working in the booze factory.

TOP TEN SLEEPERS IN FANTASY FOOTBALL 2008

After sitting through two live fantasy football drafts on Yahoo and watching people select their picks, I realize that some of these players selected were either selected because they stock was high or someone actually has the "Bones Feeling" for them. First, let me explain the " Bones Feeling", it is a feeling you get at the beginning on the draft that makes you feel all warm inside and kind of gay. You develop a man crush on this player because you start to feel that your the only one that may feel this way for him and you may be able to steal him later in the draft. Bones usually has this feeling for Andre Johnson from the Texans about every yr.

Now that you have gained further knowledge on the "Bones Feeling" and what it means, here is my top ten sleepers or guys that I get that "Bones Feeling" for:

These are in no particular order:

1. Santonio Holmes - WR-PITTSBURGH STEELERS- This guy has the most raw talent the Steelers have at the wide out position, since hell I don't know the 70's. I have a feeling now that Hines is in the transition on moving into more of a poessesion receiver, this is really going to open the door for fantasy owners. He is definitly an explosive downfield threat that has great hands. I ll take it a step further, Holmes led this team in YAC this preseason. This tells me there is definitly more to come from this stud even after catches the ball. I am calling it now, this guy is going to the pro bowl.

2. Patrick Crayton- WR- DALLAS COWBOYS- I know another wideout, but can you blame me. The Cowboys have more offensive threats and talent then the entire cast of TGIF ON ABC 15 YRS AGO. Because of this I feel CRAYTON will slip through the cracks of not only fantasy owners, but cornerbacks as well. You tell me who you are going to focus on when your calling a defense that has to line up against ROMO,OWENS,WITTEN, BARBER, AND NEWLY DRAFTED FELIX JONES, who we will talk about later. Crayton is a burner and doesn't mind going across the middle and gaining the all important YAC that could land you in the endzone. I feel like Crayton can play the role like Santonio Holmes did later in his rookie season when he found his niche in the offense.

3. Kurt Warner- QB- ARIZONA CARDINALS- This guy through the most TD'S in the second half of the 2007 season. He also in my book has two pro bowl receivers in Fitzgerald and Boldin. Now, although Boldin is not getting along with management, he will still go out and perform cause like any player they know that money is on the line. I know Warner is old and his wife looks like more of a man then he is, but this guy doesn't have to do much to look good. It reminds of his days in St. Louis with all the fire power he had back there. I mean as long as Matt Lionheart keeps hammering down beer bongs and doing softcore hot tub scenes with his no talent buddy Nick Lachey. I really dont think you can blame me for making Kurt Warner a sleeper.

4. Thomas Jones-RB- NY JETS- I think your going to see a resurrgence from this guy like his past days in Chi - town. I feel that the pick up of Brett Favre will help this team tremendously. They have upgraded their o- line and since Favre has proved everyone wrong again about being able to play and make players look better then what they are around him. Maybe we will finally get to see how good these JETS RECEIVERS finally are. This guy help Ryan Grant become a beast, made Greg Jennings look like the next Art Monk, and turned Donald Lee into Mark the undersage babysitter fucker Chamara. Yes he was a good player while he played the TE position.

5. Felix Jones-RB- DALLAS COWBOYS- I said earlier in this post that we would be talking about this guy and I meant it. I know in this top part there maybe a lot of rookies called out and that is because we don't know all that much about them and if their game can transfer into success in the NFL. Well, after what we saw in Minnesota I think it is only right that rookies get respect too. Now, unless you were a huge college football fan you probably don't know much about Felix Jones and it is not really your fault. This guy was the back up behind Run DMC in Arkansas. Yes, that is correct a back - up and first round pick. My point exactly, this kid has talent and not only does he have that, but he has the hands and speed to go with it. He is also learning from one of the best pounding and hard running back in business today Marion Barber. His skills for blocking are getting better and will gain him even more playing time on 3rd downs. Like I said before with all that talent in Big D, who will you choose to cover or key in on. This guy will find the endzone and if he keeps learning behind Marion Barber, he will probably find himself being the man in Dallas in no time!

6. Jonathan Stewart - RB- CAROLINA PANTHERS- This kid is a rookie out of Oregon, where they weren't short of talent last year. The only thing that hindered any one from this team from being drafted higher were the injury bug. Pittsburgh Fans know that all to well, when we drafted Stewarts ex - teammate Dennis Dixon, who has been receiving high praise ever since his arrival in the burgh. Stewart was one of the most sought after rb's in the draft with only his toe hindering his draft status. I know the Steelers had him high on their draft board as well and that says enough to me since our taste in running backs in the burgh is pretty damn good. Stewart runs hard and downhill. With what is going on in Carolina's backfield, I feel that it's Stewarts job to win or lose. He is a rookie who will get multiple chances and is in an offense that loves to mix up the run and pass. They also have the down field boxing threat in Steve Smith to keep teams honest and from huggling the line of scrimmage. This guy seems to be a good fit for your WR/RB slot.

7.Eddie Royal-WR-Denver Broncos- I know I know another rookie. Well, this guy is in Denver where yards seem to come easy every yr no matter how old you are and where you come from. With Brandon Marshall coming back after he serves his one game suspension and Jason Bices' best friend Jay Cutler, who supposively had the strongest arm in his draft class throwing to him. This could turn out to be a good fit for Royal and an even better compliment for Marshall, whose numbers last yr help Bones become two - time champ of the league. This guy will have one guys is already being compared to Steve Smith from Carolina. Now, I am not saying he is going to be that good I am just saying that is the type of receiver this can could be.of the better chances in winning offensive rookie of the yr and don't be surprise if he does. This guy runs great routes and has dynamic speed and much stronger then what his size displays. This

8. Jeremey Shockey- TE- New Orleans Saints- I am sorry to even mention a tight end,but as we all know there are a few of them out there that can be difference makers on your team. I am telling you right now this guy was drafted high and was a pro bowler for a reason. He is a damn good blocker and an even better receiver. Now that he is in more pass happy offense with Drew Brees, who will be competing for the NFL MVP this yr. This guy is going to come back to glory. Now, I know you all know who he is and all that bullshit. For some reason he was forgotten about on a lot of draft boards. I don't know if it is because he got traded or because he didn't play much of last yr when it counted. I am telling you and I know Marques Colston would to if you could talk to him. This guy will be vital in the pass offense for the Saints this yr. He has done it before and he will do it again.

9. Chris Perry- RB - CINCY BENGALS- By now this may not be much of a sleeper, now that Rudi Johnson got cut. I know I was already thinking about picking up Watson or Perry while drafting for my teams. Now, I do not think the Bengals are going to be great, or even good this yr. I do however think they will pad the stat category. They have the talent to put pts on the board offensively, they always have. It's just getting a defense of the field to help them. Back to Perry, who will be taking most of the carries in the backfield. This guy is from yes MATT CARROLLS' BELOVED SHITTY MICHIGAN. He loves to bang in between the tackles and he is a good back for the AFC North. The Bengals have so much damn talent on the outside with Johnson, Housh, and the reinstated crack head Chris Henry. This guy should have alot of room to run the ball as long as they all can stay healthy. This team has to work as a unit to be good and have good fantasy stats. They aren't good enough to do it on their own. Let say like TOM AND RANDY OR ROMO AND T.O. OR EVEN TOMLINSON AND THAT COCKY BASTARD RIVERS.

10. This one was tough when getting down to the last one it could be a lot of guys. I think Marvin Harrison is going to have a good yr. His counterpart Anthony Gonzalez I feel will be pretty good. I also think Chad Pennington will resurge in Miami. This guy was good for a reason and give a savy veteran like him a second chance in warm weather, this could really work out for him. I am just not sure it will be this yr. So my number 10 pick is no other then:

Donte' Stallworth- WR- CLEVELAND BROWNS- With all the hype going into Braylon Edwards this yr. I think Stallworth if healthy can really do some damage to some secondaries espically one like Pittsburgh's who plays the inital 10 yrds off you. But we always benfit from a shitty Browns o - line and sack their QB about 100 times. But if Anderson plans on not being a one yr wonder and letting Wonder Boy Brady Quinn (who Bones secretly wants to date..lol) then I think this guy will have a big role in serving that purpose. He is still a pretty good downfield threat and in New England he became a pretty good receiver catching balls across the middle. Remember he also has Kellen "Soldier Boy"Winslow protecting him from Defenses too. So ,just like the camoflauge that Winslow wheres on gameday appearently, he must have gave some to Stallworth when it came to fantasy drafts and for the sake of my prediction I hope he wears on gamedays. This way he can slip past defenses and make me look like a football guru!!

Thanks for your time and I hope you take the time to consider some of these guys while drafting or while kicking yourself in the ass for not drafting them. I would invite any posts that would like to disagree or even replace some of my players. It is always interesting hearing what others think or are thinking of espically when the season comes to end. WELL GOOD LUCK TO ALL FANTASY FOOTBALL OWNERS AND HOPE NONE OF THESE GUYS END UP BITING YOU IN THE ASS WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/2/2008

I have a really good feeling about Kurt Warner this year. Now I don't have him on my team, because I have two pretty damn good starting QBs. But if you had someone shitty (Jay Cutler), I'd recommend you pick this guy up. Krazy Kurt threw more touchdowns than anyone the last 7 games of 2007 and he's got the weapons to continue this strong pace. I'm going to make the bold prediction that Warner will finish this season as a top 5 QB and I'll probably regret not picking him up.