Would You Rather?

It's Friday night! So as usual I'm sitting at home by myself. Totally Cool, I know. Anyway since the Pirates are getting the shit kicked out of them, I thought I'd introduce a new feature to the site and by new feature I mean I'll probably just do it this one time but who knows.

Stein and I like to play this game called would you rather where I will give him to horrible options to what he would rather do and he MUST pick one. It's a great game and we usually think of the most horrible shit imaginable. One day Stein chose a question that neither myself, or him, or anyone else could answer.

"Would you rather have sex with your mom or your dad?"

Luckily no one reported abuse!

Yahoo Answers is a place where people can post questions and anyone can answer them. I thought I would pose this question to the Answers Community under my alias "Bob Jamies" and this is what I got.

Daisy May doesn't even answer my question. She just says "Yes, EW! Lauren responds with a "NITHER you pervert." First off, learn to fucking spell! Secondly, I'm not a pervert. It's a perfectly honest question. BabeHeart obviously has read and knows the rules of Answers. It looks like I stand a fair chance of getting a violation notice! Oh No. I guess I should have answered that the rules of "Would You Rather?" require you to select at least one answer.

Opal1331 seems to assume I live in a trailer for asking such a question. Well Opal, the jokes on you! Trailer Park People can't spell let alone buy computers with the internets. Geez. Chery, who's obviously Australian, tells me "not to give up my day job." Well Gee, I probably shouldn't because I'll never be able to make it as a professional question asker on Yahoo Answers. Oh what will I do? Finally, Tinkerbell, who also neglects to answer my question, uses bad grammar, making me respect her even less.

For some reason Penelope I am a sick bunch of asterisks and asks me why I don't go have a threesome with my parents. Who's the sick one now? Tristan answers the question honestly so he is the one one of the 9 who answered who I don't think is a total moron although his answer is kind of iffy. Julie S's answer is just weird. I don't even think it's possible for a girl to have sex with a chocolate bar. But who am I to judge?

Well, I successfully wasted an hour.

UPDATE
I Just received a violation notice from yahoo. Apparently that was not an appropriate question to ask.

10 Things You Didn't Know About Stein!

I found a pretty good article on the canadian sports website tsn. The article is called "10 Things You Didn't Know About Sid 'The Kid.'" You can check it out here:

http://www.tsn.ca/columnists/james_duthie/?id=239537

Since, me and Stein are new to the blog I decided to inform you of the "10 Things You Didn't Know About Stein." Enjoy!!



1.) He really, really likes hockey. He likes it so much that he wears Penguins pajama's to bed, has a Penguins pillow case, and Penguins posters strewn about his room. He even has a blowup doll with Mario Lemieux's face glued on to it. He claims it is something he uses for inspiration. It smells like semen.

2.) He eats with his hands. I went over to his house one day to see him knuckle deep in a bowl of ramen noodles. When I asked him "Why don't you use a fork." He thew the bowl against the wall and threatened me with a piece of the broken glass. Which leads me to my next point...



3.) Stein has a bit of a temper. Mild mannered and kind as he may seem. This man has a mean streak as long as Tommy Lee's genitals. I once saw him drop kick a poodle and roundhouse kick a five year old.

4.) He is a racist. He makes fun of Canadians, Black People, Jewish people and Native Americans. He once called me a "frivolous Jew" I asked him if he even knew what frivolous meant. He didn't. I then asked him if he realized that I was not Jewish. He then called me a "heeb." I asked if he realized that a "heeb" was another word for Jewish. He did not. So he called me a cracker and left.

5.)He has both male and female reproductive organs. Ask him about it when he is drunk. If he doesn't stab you in your cheek, he will tell you all about how his mom used to talk about him being a special boy because he had "the hot dog and the bun."



6.) He is a very smelly man. Let's just say I have pieces of my feces that smell like a steak dinner compared to Stein. He smells so bad that the flies can't be near him. I can actually see the stink coming off of him like the cartoons. I suspect he does not properly clean the female portion of his anatomy.

7.) He is as hairy as a gorilla. There is nothing else to say about this. The mother fucker is hairy as a goddamned great ape.



8.) His favorite movie is Maid in Manhattan. He says the characters have such depth and really understand the hardship that is associated with life in the big city.
8a.) Stein lives in Butler PA.

9) Stein when he was 15 used to be lead vocalist in a boy band called "Soft BUTT SEXXy" He claims that it was just for the money and fame.
9a.) Only 6 people ever saw them perform. The 5 band members and a man Stein told me was their "record producer."
9b.) The "record producer" was last seen on "To Catch a Predator."



10.) Last but not least, he invented a game called "nipple sticks." Apparently it is when you stick something to your nipple using honey. Then the other person has to lick it off in a minute.
10a.) Stein is a sick fuck.


So there you have it. Stein in a nutshell. I hope you learned a little about one of your new contributors to this wonderful blog. I know I did! See you all nex post!

If you see this, be afraid... very afraid

Beware the AAA sticker on the back of an automobile. Chances are it will contain within an old person aka. Killing Machine. The AAA bumper sticker is placed on an old persons death wagon so they have a way to remind themselves that the AAA service even exists. In the inevitable event that they will be in an accident, they can look on the bumper of their bloodied vehicle and remember to call good ole' AAA. No offence to old people. Actually, I take that back.... IN offence to old people. You ancient sons of bitches can't drive for shit. It's a terrifying situation to be driving in the close proximity to what I like to call "Mobile Olds" (A play on words with the car brand Oldsmobile. Aren't I just high-larious???). These moving mummies creep down the road driving across solid line after solid line with no regaurd for public safety. They drive around in 1976 Cadillac Tanks so when they hit something/someone the beast won't even scratch. The poor bastard on the other end however, will get demolished. So beware when you see a car that has a AAA sticker on the back. Nine times out of ten it will be a Mobile Old swurving down the road running over infants and unexpecting families. Another way to tell when grandfather time is close is when the registation sticker is put in more than one corner of the license plate. Only an old person or someone who is mentally deficient will put the sticker in any other corner than the one with the indentation (which is put on the liscence plate to idiot proof the sticker placement and guide people to the right place...it doesn't work.). Nothing against people with mental disabilities (Stein) just keep an eye on anyone who puts the sticker in multiple corners of the license plate, they are horrendous drivers. If you see a license plate with a registation sticker in all 4 corners that means that this oldie has had the car for at least 4 years making them 4 years older than you or I anticipate. So, chances are they are at least 104. So take heed folks, there are old people everywhere and they WILL get you! You can thank me for these tips later.

I Have to Pee!

I just woke up and I have to piss really bad. But instead of pissing, you know what I'm doing? Not pissing because Matt Steinhiser decided to take a 7 hour shower! I'm pretty sure it's not good to hold it in but I don't have any Gatorade bottles laying around like the old days. Back then everyone pissed in Gatorade bottles, even if a toilet was open. It was just the right thing to do! I can't pee outside because there are people everywhere and all the men would probably have hurt feelings if they saw me whip out my giant penis and all the ladies would try to have sex with me. But I really don't have time for such nonsense as I have to take a pretty long pee and sex with said ladies would surely slow down the peeing process. Oh well he's out now.