This isn't me! My Salad was much shittier and I don't wear gay pink shirts!
Today I had the worst salad ever. I usually make my chicken salads at night for lunch the next day at work. I had just cooked the chicken and didn't want to put it in my salad container yet because it was still hot. "I'll just put it in tomorrow" I thought to myself. Well guess what! I didn't. So I had to eat this shitty bowl of lettuce with this awful tasting Italian Dressing. What a terrible meal. To make things worse I discovered that Vitamin Water isn't good for you at all! It has a ton of sugar and your body doesn't even absorb the vitamins. WTF?!
A long time ago, before I even heard of youtube, I came across a site called ifilm.com. Ifilm is pretty much the same as youtube except you can pick your thumbnail from any picture u want.(More on this later.) Anyway, I was so stoked at the idea of putting my awesome videos online for everyone to see and just knew the video below would become an instant success.
So I uploaded it to the site, and waited for the views to roll in. Then I waited some more. Then I got pissed from waiting so long and told my friends to go see it. After that I had about 3 views so I threw up.
Why wouldn't people go watch this hilarious video? I had titled it accordingly "Wham! Jitterbug Parody" but no one seemed to care. Do people have that little interest in Wham!? Probably.
After a few minutes of crying like a baby, it hit me. The videos with the most hits seemed to be those with girls making out! Not that I would partake in watching such filth. JK! I totally was and this was where choosing any thumbnail I wanted came into play. I quickly searched for a pic of hot girls making out, changed the title of my video to "Hot Girls Making Out" and the next day I found my video to be featured on Ifilm's main page. Success and over 100,000 views for a day. Pretty fucking Sweet. I quickly uploaded about 15 more videos and did the exact same thing. The views kept coming and I imagine that the dudes, hoping to see girls making out and instead seeing my friend Bones dancing around, were getting pretty pissed. Not that I cared, all I cared about was the views.
So the following day, I went to log in and guess what happened? My account had been shut down. All my hard work erased. Apparently, Ifilm was not happy with my misrepresentation of videos but fuck them anyway. Awful site.
I have to work now but next time I'll tell everyone how to get views on youtube!
This isn't me! My Salad was much shittier and I don't wear gay pink shirts!
