Fantasy Football Update 9/14/2008

Let me just say how terrible the Offensive lines I've been watching today are. Both the Colts and the Rams look like shit. Total shit and its really pissing me off. This especially affects old Joe Addai who also looks like shit with a whopping 4 yards at the half. To make matters worse, Brees is only worth 2.5 points and Ryan "Can't" is only worth 1. God Damn, its going to be a long day.

Preview: Steelers vs. Browns

So the Steelers are set to take on everyone's chic pick to win the AFC North. What all the prognosticators failed to mention that the Browns still have the same problems affecting them as last year. Namely, a shitty defense.

Dallas dispatched the Browns easily last week. Tony Romo, who is said by many to be better than Large Benjamin despite winning exactly dick, torched the Browns secondary for 300 some yards.

What I see happening for the Browns: The Browns won't give the Steeler's shaky line a real test because their pass rush is average. They paid Shaun Rogers all this money to stuff the run. Rogers, who is said to have all the talent in the world, is more or less a fat, lazy pussy. Kamerion Wimbley is the only player worth a damn on their defense (obviously because he's a former Seminole). Their secondary as mentioned before is pretty bad on top of being banged up at safety.

Anderson and company will get their yards and points but this will happen long after the outcome has been decided. Sgt. Winslow and Braylon Edwards will have decent games. Former cocaine peddler, Jamal Lewis, will get a whole lot of nothing. On a tangent here, if any of us got caught setting up cocaine deals via phone we'd be locked up for about five years. This asshole got to spend a summer in a country club prison and was released.

What I see happening for the Steelers: Look for Ben to have his way with this secondary to the tune of 250 yards and at least two scores. Willie will see the 100 yard mark again this week getting a bulk of the carries in the second half to seal the deal. Santonio Holmes will vastly improve on last week's performance with at least 80 yards and a score.

On the defensive side of the ball, the Steelers will shut down the coke peddler and force Anderson to bomb away. He'll get his but he'll also take a couple sacks and throw a pick or two.

PREDICTION: Steelers 31, Clowns 20



Bonus prediction of the week: Ohio State @ USC

I see ESPN has already given this game a clever little moniker: The Collision at the Coliseum. If you think all the shameless self-promotion is bad just wait till they get a hold of the SEC next year. The nuthuggery will become unbearable.

Back on point here...

Chris "Beanie" Wells is now listed as doubtful for this game. I have a hard time rooting for someone with the name Beanie but that's beside the point. I didn't like their chances even if he was healthy. Look for USC to shut down the running game and force Boeckman to beat them which he won't. King Pryor will have a minimal impact on this game.

The vaunted Ohio State defense will help keep USC at bay but I don't see them doing enough offensively to win it. Mark "Dirty" Sanchez and the backfield loaded with former McDonalds all-americans and receivers that were former McShits all-americans will manage enough offense to win. Another tangent here....I think USC is up to something fishy. Why in the hell would all these blue-chip skill positon talent come to USC to ride the pine or split time? Resident crybaby Mitch Mustain transferred from Arkansas just to watch Sanchez start at QB. I dunno just seems to me that Cheatin' Pete is up to something.

Prediction: USC 21 OSU 13

Other college predictions:
Kansas 24 USF 17. Reesing does just enough to win.

Georgia 21, South Carolina 7. South Carolina's defense keeps this close.

Michigan 13, Notre Dame 7. First one to 10 wins. Jimmy Clausen, a.k.a. Sunshine/douche bag, will get sacked at least 5 times.

Fresno State 17, Wisconsin 14. In somewhat of an upset special for the week, look for Fresno to shut down P.J Hill and make Wisconsin QB Allan Everidge to beat them. I don't think he can.

Florida State 49, Chattanooga 0. Young FSU offense gets another confidence builder. Real test for Seminoles next week against Wake Forest.

Random stuff....I see on the new poll I'm somehow a worse person than Hitler and Bin Laden. Very nice.
Bice and I square off in fantasy football and I predict that he'll get beat worse than he beats his penis on Saturday nights.

Until next time......

10 Questions About the Upcoming Penguins Season

We have all been so caught up in the return of our beloved Steelers that some people have forgotten that Penguins season gets underway very soon. Preseason starts in a short 9 days with the Pens taking on the Lighting and the regular season starts in less than a month on October 4th in Stockholm against the Sens. There are a number of things I am looking at as the season gets underway.



1.) Will Evgeni Malkin bounce back after a piss poor performance in the playoffs? I thought at first it was a load of shit that Malkin plays better without Crosby. I thought it was just that he finally turned on the switch and was just going to continue to dominate with Crosby's return. But durning the playoffs he slowed considerably and just did not come up big for us. Who knows what the outcome would have been if Malkin had been playing in the playoffs like he did in the regular season. Hopefully he can bounce back to form and take kids to school like he did last year.



2.) Am I the only one who is super pumped that Ryan Whitney is hurt? Ryan Shitney, what the hell happened to you? I thought he was going to be the next Gonchar with even better defensive skills. He gets the big check and starts shitting himself. He couldn't keep the puck in on the PP he was making bonehead passes and mistakes that led to a lot of scoring chances for opposing teams. Hopefully with the 3 months or so he is going to need to take a seat we can have a Marc Andre Fleury effect on him. The best thing that happened to Fleury was being able to sit back and watch how Conklin managed the game. If Shitney does that, he could get back to the level we need him to be at, and if not, he is some serious contention for trade bait. Him being out also leads me to my next point...



3.) Will this season be a breakout year for Kris Letang? I have loved Letang since I first set eyes on him (not in a gay way). He's got a great shot, great speed, solid skating, great puck handling, good D. You name it the kid has it. With Shitney on the bench Letang will get more time on the PP. I think his fear of shooting the puck that he had last year will go away. I think some of the rookie mistakes will go away. I'm not saying his game will be perfect, the kid is still young. I am going to say though watching him this past year and seeing that when he did make a mistake he hauled ass and did everything in his power to fix it, I'm sure any concerns or issues with his game will be resolved coming in to this season and he will be a big piece of the puzzle this year.



4.) Will Marc-Andre Fleury continue his outstanding play? As I mentioned before, the best thing that ever happened to MAF was getting hurt last year. He came back a smarter goalie with better stick skills and more control. He is one of if not the most athletic goalie in the league. When he gets his style and form perfected, not only will he make the routine great saves, but he can make the saves that no other goalie can make just because of his athletic abilities. My only concern is that in the past he has shown himself to get rattled and be a little inside his own head, if he can shake the head trash the man will be a top 5 goalie.



5.) Could it be .....Satan? I want to see what this guy, along with Fedotenko, can do playing on a line with Crosby or Malkin. They have produced in the past, I want to see how they are going to fit in the puzzle.



6.) Will losing Malone, Laraque, and Ruutu etc. be a big deal? I have never been big on Ryan Malone, I think he played great in the playoffs and everything but the truth his his production never really went up even when playing on lines with 2 of the best players in the world. Even a shithead like Robbie Brown looked like a hero when he was playing with Mario. Malone was a behemoth who sat in front of the net, get any big guy in front and Malkin and Crosby will get you 25 goals. I'm more concerned with losing our tough guys. I loved Ruutu, and Big Georges for that matter. I am just hoping that Cooke and fill in when Ruutu left off and Godard can handle the puck behind the net or an entire shift like Laraque could.


(This picture is on the Pens Blog, It is hilarious)

7.) Will God smack the Red Wings with an injury to Hossa? You should never wish ill will upon someone so I am not saying I want Hossa to get hurt. I'm just saying wouldn't it be kind of funny if he did get hurt. That or Detroit didn't even make the playoffs. That might be even better. He wanted to go to a team that he thought had a better chance of winning the cup and they don't even make the playoffs. Lets all cross our fingers.



8.) Will the Pens stay healthy? Fucking high ankle spains galore last season almost jepordized the year for the Pens. Injuries will happen, but I think that for the most part the team shouldn't have the issues of last year and be for the most part healthy.



9.) Will Jordan Staal get out of his offensive funk? Jordan Staal is my boy. He plays great defence, is great on the PK and has solid all around skill, not to mention he is still a teenager. He was getting great chances last year and coming up short. His rookie season the shots that he had going in would hit the post last year. He still got the scoring chances and he still played great all around hockey. He had a very soild playoffs and I think that showed his maturation as a player and I think he will feed off that for this season. The scary thing about Staal is that he is so young he will only put on more muscle and get bigger, faster and stronger. I just really hope he is not a salary cap casualty at the end of this season because I think he is going to have 30-40 goals when it is all said and done.



10.) Last but not least will the Pens repeat as Eastern Conference champs? Short answer, Yes they will. There is no reason why the Pens should not repeat. Sure they lost Hossa, but we didn't have him for the majority of the season. I think that there are no teams in the East who can match the Pens, if they come out of the gate swinging this season instead of lolligagging like they did last year, I think the Pens should end the regular season tops in the East. They should then be able to march back to the Cup Finals and hopefully take the whole damn thing.

So there you have it. I just had to let people know we have not forgotten the Pens and as the season quickly approaches. Also, let's all take a moment to realize that as a city Pittsburgh has some of the greatest sports teams in the world. I hope all of you reading this realize how lucky we are to be able to go to Heinz Field to watch the Stillers or Mellon Arena for a Pens game and yes even PNC park to watch the Succo's. This shit is so sweet. Let's go Pens.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

So. This has been a crazy week in the world of football. Focusing on the college game it was still quite interesting and will get to be even more interesting this weekend. We shall focus on a team that is just south of the Mason Dixon line, WVU (West Virginia University). WVU lost to ECU this past Saturday, 24-3. A big time blow to WVU after so much hype from last seasons success. So lets dive in, shall we!

Best Case Scenario

WVU currently has a record of 1-1. They opened with a victory over Villanova and then lost to ECU (Eastern Carolina University). Lets say that loss to ECU is a huge fluke. The schedule for WVU looks pretty soft to say the least. WVU should easily defeat Colorado, Marshall, Rutgers and Syracuse to improve to a 5-1 record. Next on the schedule would be Auburn, who should be in the SEC championship game this year. I say WVU loses this game to fall to 5-2. With all Big East schools remaining on their schedule, WVU can't afford to lose anymore games. WVU will defeat Connecticut, Cincinatti and Lousiville to improve to 8-2. I say they win out over Pitt and South Florida to finish at 10-2 and in a major bowl.

Worst Case Scenario

WVU is dealt a major blow to their confidence and it shows for the rest of the season. WVU would still manage to win all of their games leading up to the Auburn game where they get pounded and fall to 5-2. The Big East proves to be tougher than WVU anticipated and they lose to Connecticut, beat Cincinatti and beat Louisville to have a record of 7-3. WVU then loses out to Pitt and South Florida to finish at 7-5.

The Prediction

It is easy to start evaluating teams like I am and be completely wrong in the predictions. But the loss to ECU had to effect WVU mentally. This could be a sign of things to come, or it could be a complete fluke. Either way WVU has no chance at beating Auburn, so that will be another loss for them. I think that honestly South Florida is the only other threat on the schedule unless Pitt comes around. But another loss to a non-contender is possible. I say WVU finishes the season at 9-3 and bowl eligible, but not winners of the Big East.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

For those that don't know, WVU was pounded by ECU (Eastern Carolina University)24-3 this past Saturday. ECU upset both Virginia Tech and West Virginia on back to back weekends to start the college football season. So lets take a look at the remainder of the ECU football schedule and see whats in store for them...

Best Case Scenario

ECU has started off with a 2-0 record against two legitimate college football teams. Both WVU and VT were supposed to contend for titles this year. So, lets say ECU is a contender this season. The ECU schedule looks fairly easy from here on out. This week against Tulane is a win, leaving the Pirates with a 3-0 record when they play North Carolina State and Houston. I would say that these are wins. NC State and Houston aren't pushovers and could be upset games, but for not if ECU is a legitimate team, they are wins. So that leaves ECU with a 5-0 record heading into the game with Virginia. Virginia was picked to finish with a record of 5-7 according to Sports Illustrated, so this I would say is a win. ECU is now 6-0 heading into their game with Memphis which is a win. UCF is next on the schedule and could cause some problems. UCF just played Big East contender USF pretty tough this past weekend, so this could be a loss, but I am thinking that ECU's momentum takes them to another win. In fact I think ECU could probably win out with victories over Marshall, Southern Miss, UAB and UTEP. This would make ECU 12-0 heading into the Conference USA championhip game against Tulsa. Given the momentum ECU has from the start of the season they beat Tulsa to finish 13-0 and maybe have a chance at a New Years Day bowl.

Worse Case Scenario

ECU was picked to go to the Conference USA championship game, so we'll say they still get to go, but just not with the record everyone thought they would have. After starting off 2-0, ECU picks up wins over Tulane, NC State and Houston to have a 5-0 record heading into the Virginia game. Virginia beats ECU, in what would probably be an upset to leave the Pirates with a 5-1 record. ECU then falls into a roller coaster trend for the next several weeks, beating Memphis, falling to UCF, beating Marshall then losing to Southern Miss to have a record of 7-3. UAB pulls of another upset and then ECU defeats UTEP to finish the season with a record of 8-4. They would fail to make the Conf. USA championship due to their loss to Southern Miss, ending their season with a below average bowl.

The Prediction

ECU's 2-0 start is no fluke. They will surely win at least 11 games this year. Predicted to go 9-3, I would say that two of those losses were supposed to be against VT and WVU. They roll through the season with UCF being their only tough remaining game. Meeting Tulsa in the Conf. USA championhip will show the kind of team Skip Holtz has. I say 12-0 and Conf. USA champs.

At some point this week, I wil break down the Notre Dame schedule and the remaining WVU games in another best case/worst case scenario. Stay tuned...

1-0: Steelers beat down Texans

The Steelers came out and set the tone early in a 38-17 victory over the Texans. Fast Willie had 138 yards and three scores. He already surpassed last season's total of 2. Big Ben was a coldly-efficient 13 out of 14 for 137 and two touchdowns. Peter King will still insist that Carson Palmer is better quarterback. Hines Ward caught two touchdowns and had 76 yards receiving. Would have been more if a 75 yard gain wasn't negated on a very questionable pass interference call.

James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley set the led the way for the Steeler's D. Harrison recorded 3 sacks and Woodley had a sack, fumble recovery, and an interception. Say hello to the best linebacking group in the NFL. Just wait till Timmons gets on the field more.

What to take from this victory? Houston isn't nearly as bad as they looked (or the Steelers made them look) and this was an impressive win over a decent football team. Everything was clicking on all cylinders. Houston's points were all scored in garbage time.

Only things I saw of concern was Roethlisberger was under some heat a little more than he should have been. Then again, Mario Williams is a beast (the Texans did the right thing drafting him over Reggie Bush). Santonio Holmes had a so-so game but don't fear his numbers will go up.

Looking at the rest of the AFC North, Cincinatti is a train wreck waiting to happen. Horrible offense/horrible defense. How in the blue hell do you let Joe Flacco run for a 30 something yard score? Just wait till their miscreants start acting up. Cleveland received a healthy beating from Dallas. Their defense still sucks. My grandma and Stephen Hawking can get open on their secondary. The Ravens are starting a rookie QB and their defense is another year older. Things are looking good for the division.

News out of New England (see Stein's post) is that Brady is dunzo. If that's the case that's one less obstacle in the Steeler's way. By the way Bice, since you're in Boston you better be taunting the Patriot fans.

The Browns are up next for the Black and Gold.

Patriots Lose Brady For Season

BREAKING NEWS

I am sure everyone has heard the news by now. New England Patriots QB Tom Brady will miss the remainder of the season with a torn ACL and MCL. The hit happened in the 1st quarter of the Patriots/Chiefs game. I was able to catch a replay and it was simliar to the hit put on Carson Palmer by Steelers tackle Kimo Von Olehoffen, aka Kimo Therapy. This leaves the Patriots with unproven backup Matt Cassell. This is horrible news for the Patriots. But if you are a fan of any other team in the AFC, then you have to be breathing a sigh of relief. I never like to see another player go down hurt. I respect Tom Brady because he is a good quarterback. But do I like him? Not so much. His injury leaves the favorites of the AFC as the Colts and Steelers. Don't rule out the Patriots; for all we know this is another one of Bill Bilichecks shenanigans. But you have to wonder who the frontrunner of the AFC East is now. The Bills or the Jets? The Jets are a much improved team with Brett Favre, but even though they beat the Dolphins today, we are still talking about two teams that won a combined 5 games last season.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

Pittsburgh Steelers 2008

The Steelers open their 2008 regular season on Sunday at 1pm against the Houston Texans at Heinz Field. In case anyone cares, I will be unable to watch the game since I have to work. It sucks. But anyway the Steelers could struggle this season. Alot of people think they could do better than last year, and that could be. But they could also do worse. So many unknowns about their offensive line with the loss of Alan Faneca and of course certain people who write for the Post-Gazette whom we will not name, feel the Steelers defense is "over-the-hill" with so many older players. Whatever. I'm here to tell you what to expect from the Steelers in 2008. Here it goes...

Best Case Scenario

So what if the Steelers play to their full potential? This is how I think it would play out. The Steelers would open the season with four straight wins over the Texans, Browns, Eagles and Ravens. I honestly think that the Steelers could beat the Jaguars, but they can't win every game and if they are going to lose, it will probably be to Jacksonville. Going into the bye week the Steelrs would be 4-1. Coming out of the bye, they play the Bengals and win but lose to the defending world champion Giants to fall to 5-2. After the loss to the Giants the Steelers beat the Redskins to reach a record of 6-2. The Steelers lose to the Colts and then beat the Chargers and Bengals to end their three game homestand with a record of 8-3. Pittsburgh then heads to New England where they lose to the Patriots, slipping to 8-4. They win out the regular season with wins over the Cowboys, Ravens, Titans and Browns to finish the season at 12-4.

Worse Case Scenario

Suppose the Steelers regress in 2008. Whatever the case they aren't as good as last year. They lose to the Texans and Browns to start off 0-2. Wins over the Eagles and Ravens get the Steelers back to .500 with a 2-2 record, but they lose to Jacksonville, falling to 2-3. They beat the Bengals and then lose to the Giants, leaving them with a 3-4 going into the game with the Redskins. They beat Washington and improve to 4-4, but then lose two straight to the Colts and Chargers to open the three game homestand, giving them a 4-6 record. They rebound with a win over the Bengals and then lose to the Patriots and Cowboys. With a record of 5-8, the Steelers then post wins over the Ravens and Titans but fall in the final game of the season to finish at 7-9.

My Prediction

The Steelers might not win 12 games this year, but I think they are at least a team that can win 10 games. They should be able to sweep the Ravens and beat the Redskins and Titans. I think it will be tough for San Diego(November 16)and Dallas(December 7) to come into Pittsburgh and win so late in the season. The Steelers have key games against New England and Indianapolis which could decide playoff spots and Cleveland and Jacksonville are also going to be tough opponents. The Giants game shouldn't be overlooked either. The Steelers should finish with a 10-6 or 11-5 record.

My Fantasy Football Post

It seems like everyone and their grandfathers second cousins landlord are making posts about fantasy football. Because I don't feel like being left out of the loop I am going to tell you all about my bad ass fantasy squad.



QB - Carson Palmer

So Palmer didn't have a stellar year this past season. He should come back into form this year. With HOcho Cinco and Douchmanzada as one of the best one two punches in the league, I think he might bouch back to become the top tier QB he has the potential to be.



RB - Ladainian Tomlinson

Do I even have to say anything else? The man is a machine bottom line. He will be good for 15 points a week at least.



RB - Selvin Young

Ok so this pick is a little wierd. I had picked Ronnie Brown before word got out that Ricky Williams is going to be the starter in Miami. I picked up Young in late rounds and he could be a big sleeper this year. He is the starting back for Denver and hopefully can come into form this season as a young stand out back.



WR - Larry Fitzgerald

Top 5 reciever in the league. On a team where you have Boldin as well he still produces. With a fat new contract and Boldin getting up there in age, Fitzgerald should produce big numbers this year.



WR - Santonio Holmes

Santonio should be a great number 2 guy for me this year. He should complete his full transition this season to become the Steelers number one reciever. Hines is aging and will continue to produce but Santonio will put up some serious numbers this season. He will be good for a good number of TD's and hopefully 1000 yards.



WR/RB - Jerricho Cotchery

Jerricho as was previously posted is going to have a great season again. With his new QB, he should put up even better numbers this year. He is the sole reason I won my league last year. He's one of those guys that does not get a lot of press but he really does well.



TE - Jason Witten

Best TE in the league. With Dallas being short on WR's he is going to have a bigger role in the offence this year, even working as slot reciever at times. This should lead to some even bigger numbers for Witten. He is like another reciever and he could put up 10-15 points a week.



K - Shayne Graham

It's a kicker, who cares. But as for kickers he is one of the best.



DEF/ST - Bears

Two words, Hester and Urlacher. Bears defence is always good and creates a lot of turnovers and does not let up a lot of points. Hopefully they will keep putting up the special teams numbers to give that little extra push that my team can use later in the season.


So there you have it that is my starting lineup for this week. I have backup players that are good as well but I don't feel like wrtiing anything else. Until next time, Peace Bitches.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/5/2008

I have one receiver that I know is going to be in my starting line-up from week to week and that's Marques Colston. After that I'm not so sure. The other four guys, Donald Driver, Marvin Harrison, Jerricho Cotchery, and Ted Ginn Jr., aren't bad but they aren't the sure thing receiver I think Colston is. I've been trying to rationalize who I should start and who I should sit and I think its going to go down to the wire. Cotchery is playing the Dolphins, who suck, and I think he can have a huge game so he's definitley going to be my number 2 guy. Driver plays Minnesota, who he's had a good deal of success against in the past, but how good is Aaron Rodgers going to be against the tough Viking D. Harrison used to be the man but coming back from injury and a rusty Manning makes me extremely cautious. Finally, I'm seriously considering Teddy Ginn. Chad Pennington is playing his former team and you know he's going to do his damndest to put it to the Jets. That means lots of passes to Ginn. I hope. Either way it's going to be a game time decision. I'm not really good at them and will probably regret whatever I choose but I'll keep you updated.

Fantasy Football Tip of the Day: 9/4/2008

Don't pick-up Daunte Culpepper. This should be obvious to everyone anyway, but in the wake of his retirement, I'd just like to bring up how terrible this former Quarterback actually is. Even when he had those two great seasons in 2000 and 2004, he still could never hold onto the football. Daunte Culpepper has played 92 games in the NFL. Daunte Culpepper has fumbled the football 89 times in those 92 career games. Daunte Culpepper has also thrown 94 interceptions during those 92 games. So chances are, if he was your starting Quarterback he was going to turn the ball over almost twice per game.

Also, in those two years when he was really good, he was throwing to Randy Moss and Chris Carter. Fucking Bones could put up decent numbers with those two guys at WR. Keep in mind, he also had 3 shitty seasons with those same guys as well as the shitty seasons he had with the Dolphins, who had no one, and Raiders who had no one.

There's a reason Daunte Culpepper isn't an NFL starter. (Other than the retarded decision to become his own agent.) It's because he's awful. Unless you give him great receivers, he won't be decent, and even then he'll still fumble the football.

I'm also a little bit bitter because I had the "Bones Feeling" about Culpepper last year and drafted him as a back-up. Although he really didn't hurt my team, he was still on it and I blame the reason I finished in last place solely on him. And on Bones. But that's obvious.

Best Case/Worst Case Scenario

I think I have been a little bit hard on the Pitt football team lately. I could be right or I could be dead wrong about their chances this season, but either way the future holds the answer. But for now I think that I should give Pitt a little bit of a chance. Given their loss to Bowling Green, I am going to break down the Pitt schedule and do a best case/worst case for the Panthers. Here it goes...

Best Case Scenario

OK. Let's break down the schedule and do a best case scenario for Pitt. Even though they lost to Bowling Green, which alot of people think they should have won, we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and just say they had opening day jitters. This week Pitt plays Buffalo. It's a big game because the Panthers need to rebound to have any chance of a winning record this year with Iowa coming in to Pittsburgh the following week. So we'll say Pitt beats Buffalo and then loses to a tough Iowa team. Pitt would be 1-2 after three games. Pitt then beats a lousy Syracuse team and then loses a close game against USF, giving them a record of 2-3. Pitt then reels off 5 wins in a row over Navy, Rutgers, Notre Dame, Louisville and Cincinatti giving them a 7-3 record. With two games left against West Virginia and Connecticut Pitt goes 1-1 with a loss to WVU and win over CT to finish the season with a record of 8-4. That would probably make them bowl eligible and then Dave Wannstedt could keep his job.

Worst Case Scenario

Lets say things don't go so smoothly for the Panthers. Pitt loses to Buffalo and Iowa to open the season at 0-3. They chalk up win number one against Syracuse and then lose to USF giving them a record of 1-4. Pitt then gets victories over Navy and Rutgers to improve to a 3-4 record. Pitt would then lose three of their last five games to Notre Dame, Cincinatti and West Virginia to finish with a record of 5-7 on the season.

The Verdict

Pitt faces a tough uphill climb after the opening loss to Bowling Green, so lets say Pitt beats Buffalo and loses to Iowa to open the season at 1-2. Give Pitt wins over Syracuse and Navy and a loss to USF. Their record at that point would be 3-3. Going into a home game against Rutgers Pitt will win and then carry the momentum to a victory in South Bend giving them a record of 5-3. Pitt loses to Louisville at home and loses to Cincinatti and West Virginia. Ending the season with a win over Connecticut would give the Panthers an overall record of 6-6 on the season. It is really hard to say how Pitt will respond this week. If they lose to Buffalo we are looking at a worst case scenario. Somehow though I don't think they can beat Iowa. The Big Ten seems to be better than the Big East. Pitt should have at least one guarenteed win over Syracuse. If Pitt would lose to the Orange, all hope is lost for the Panthers in 2008.

Pitt plays Buffalo on Saturday at Heinz Field. The game starts at 6pm and as far as I know won't be a televised game.

College Football's Most Asked Questions

My email inbox has been overrun with questions from all of our loyal readers. So I decided to take the top 5 and answer them for all to see. Here we go...

1) Will it be Paterno or Bowden who end the season as college football's all-time wins leader as head coach? Who knows. I think Paterno is far more stubborn and will probably end up coaching another season at least. I am a firm believer that if you love to do somthing, you should continue to do it for as long as you wish. I think both Paterno and Bowden have earned that right. They are coaching legends and should walk away when they feel ready. Bowden is, but Paterno apparently isn't. I am willing to bet that it ends in a tie and then Paterno takes the lead next season after Bowden retires. I love Penn State, but I hope JoePa doesn't hang on too long.

2) How bad is Pitt? I know I said they were shit on this blog earlier. And I think they are. But how bad could they possibly be. Here is my prediction. Pitt will manage to pull out a win against Buffalo to even their record at 1-1. After that everyone will be on the bandwagon and Pitt will be back on the straight and narrow again. Then the Iowa Hawkeyes come to town and Pitt will lose to the mediocre Big Ten team to slip to 1-2. Pitt will then stomp Syracuse to improve to 2-2. Syracuse is horrible and has been ever since Donovan McNabb left them. If Pitt loses to Syracuse consider the season a loss and send the Pitt coaching staff a thank you note for fucking up the Panthers for the last four seasons. The Panthers will then lose back-to-back games against USF and Navy to slip to 2-4. With the season all but lost, Pitt does their best to trick their fans again with back-to-back wins against Rutgers and Notre Dame to even their record at 4-4. Pitt then will defeat Louisville in a close game to make everyone think that the Panthers are finally on the rise with their record at 5-4 with three games remaining in the season. Pitt then loses their remaining three games to Cincinatti, West Virginia and Connecticut to end the season at 5-7 and out of Bowl contention. Thats it folks. Don't even bother watching the games, cuz you know the outcome.

3) How does Rick Neuheisel still have a coaching job? UCLA made a great decision to bring in coach N. That is evident from the comeback victory that UCLA had over Tennessee on Monday night. But during the broadcast when ESPN was reviewing Neuheisel's coaching resume the color commentator mentioned that every school that Neuheisel coached at faced sanctions from the NCAA after he left. His most famous blunder was while at the University of Washington for some kind of betting thing. I hope he doesn't screw UCLA like he did his last two stops.

4) What was Rich Rodriguez thinking? Apparently he wasn't. West Virginia will have a much better season than Michigan. When people are talking about Penn State actually beating Michigan this season, you know it must be bad for the Wolverines. I hope Rodriguez gets fired from Michigan and never coaches again (But that is just a personal preferance).

5) Will Tim Tebow win the Heisman for a second straight season? I respect Tim Tebow. I think that it takes alot for a guy like him to lead the kind of life he does, with so much peer pressure around him. Overall Tebow is a dual threat with his arm and legs. Urban Meyer's spread offense increases his threat level. I say he wins again. Unless he gets injured, silly.

Until next time, always remember to have sex with girls on your back because girls can't get pregnant that way!

Top Ten Overrated and Over hyped NFL Players

I just wanted to write about something that bothers me. People who are over payed and over hyped for never doing anything more then what they are suppose to do. These are people that strulggle at doing that and never do the above and beyond to take their team to the next level.

Well here they are and yes in this particular order on how much they fucking suck and are over hyped and over rated:

1. Vince Young- He just wins games..I am tired of hearing that. He needs more weapons.. Well put up some numbers and win playoff games...Mike Vick did that shit too.

2. Matt Leinart- Christ you would think this guy was Joe Namath for as much attention he gets off the field. He probably has better luck in a reality tv show or something then ever being an NFL QB.

3. Ray Lewis- Grandpa Ray, who get more credit for tackles he wasn't in on as oppose to ones that he was.

4.Chad Johnson- Hey Chad put and shut up.. You got a damn Pro Bowl QB and WR core. Then ask for a contract or a trade. Of course you could ask to be traded for Jerry Rice and maybe Dancing with the Stars will eat the rest of your contract.

5.Troy Polamolu - never plays how do we know how great he is, because he did at one season or so. Hey Troy put the rosary down and help us comeplete a Hail Mary or two.

6.Steven Jackson- Quit being a pussy and go play. No one made you sign a contract and for crying out loud you do not need to buy all the jewlery in the store and a fleet of cars and you ll have tons of money if your career ends tomorrow. Why don't you go out and show me something before you hold out you injured pussy.

7.Clinton Portis - hey bud you got so many damn disguses.. I am starting to think you dressing up as a football player every sunday is another of the many. Well if it is, atleast we know your fooling you stupid ass owner Daniel Synder. I know your not fooling me.. I'll never draft your shitty fantasy ass.

8.Dallas Cowboys Team- Can someone tell me why the hell year in and year out these guys get so much press and hype. Christ you would think they have won more Superbowls then playoff games under Tony Romo. Oh wait they have fucking zero.

9.Reggie Bush- Hey Reggie I don't if anyone has told you yet,but their are tons of brothers of your caliber out there. You gotta have skills to play in this league. Although, We know you do have one skill and that is fucking hot bitches like Kim Kardashin.

10.Brady Quinn- Although I can't blame all this on Brady because someone else has just been having a miracle season and stopping him from playing. But for being a bench warmer have you seen anyone with more endorsements. I mean how do you explain that one...here use are product you can be as ripped and fucking cool as Brady Quinn and oh yeah you too can sit the bench. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa HGH MILKSHAKES!!!

Thanks for reading, I hope you agree and found it entertaining because I sure don't when Sundays roll around and these fucking idiots are making more money then a lot of us will ever see in our lifetimes!!

Defending the Pirates trades

Now it's blatantly obvious that the Pittsburgh Pirates are absolutely crapticular. However, as of late, I've been hearing people bash the tandem of CEO Frank Coonelly and GM Neil Huntington. I, for one, happen to be completely on board with what they are trying to do. I will now explain to you all why I agree with what they are doing with our beloved Pirates.

1. The Bay and Nady trades

This seems to the the hot button issue amongst Pirate fans. People have told me, "Bones, if we would have kept those two and our pitching wasn't awful we might make a run at .500." Let's face it, if there was a perfect storm for the Pirates this season (Bay, Nady, Doumit, etc hitting like they were, Snell and Gorzo didn't have their heads up their asses, and so on) they would still be behind the Brewers and Cubs. Might make a run at .500 but aside from that nothing special. I don't want a run at .500. I want a consistant winner. Coonelly and Huntington aren't striving for mediocrity.

The past GM was criticized for buying high and selling low. I'm not going to mention his name because he was so god damn horrible at his job but wikipedia has all of his failures in one nice neat little package. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Littlefield.

The values of Bay and Nady weren't going to get any higher. Especially that of Nady who was hitting way past his career numbers and considering he hasn't played more than 120 games in a season.

In return for these trades, they received a plethora of pitchers (in case none of you have noticed the pitching has been horrible). Maybe none of these pitchers will be all-stars but the lack of pitching depth in the organization is pathetic. Huntington is trying his damndest to restock the cupboard that the prior GM (who shall still remain nameless) left bare.

They also acquired Jose Tabata, a 20 year old, ultimate boom or bust prospect. However, he has hit the ball extremely well down in Altoona since his arrival. In one trade, he became the second best prospect in the Pirates system. Players like Tabata are sorely lacking in the Pirates system. His ceiling is higher than Ricky Williams and Matt Jones.



Brandon Moss and Andy LaRoche came over in the Bay trade. Also coming along was pitcher Bryan Morris (according to some sources he is one of our top pitching prospects now). Moss and LaRoche have had a rough go of it so far, as do most young baseball players. They have the potential to succeed.

What it comes down to in my mind with the trades is this: Were the Pirates going to get over the top with Bay and Nady? The answer is no.

2. Drafting

The mess with top choice, Pedro Alvarez, not withstanding the new regime did excellent in the draft. The prior GM wouldn't have had the nuts to draft Alvarez because of signability issues. We'll wait and see what happens with Pedro and his "advisor" Scott BorASS to pass final judgement.

After the Moskos/Wieters abortion (which still pisses me off to this very day), they had to make a statement that we aren't cheap and this isn't the same old shit. For your own perusal I'll give you Moskos's stats http://www.thebaseballcube.com/players/M/daniel-moskos.shtml and those of Mr. Wieters http://www.thebaseballcube.com/players/W/matt-wieters.shtml. Comforting thought isn't it? I'm going to go on to something else before I puke all over the keyboard.

They signed great talent above slot such as Robby Grossman, Quinton Miller, and Wesley Freeman. They've built an baseball academy in the Dominican and signed some players from Latin America. The past GM didn't get the memo that high quality talent comes from Latin America. They weren't able to come to terms with second round pick Tanner Scheppers but he wanted first round money with a bum shoulder. They'll now have two second round picks in next year's draft.

They are finally spending money in the right places. Putting it into the farm system as opposed to washed up/end of the line/re-tread losers. I'm not going name these bums because there are way too many and I don't feel like it. The owner Bob Nutting is actually opening up his wallet to help develop young talent. They have to build from the ground up. If Tampa Bay, the Brewers, Twins, A's can do it, then why can't the Pirates?

The Post-Gazette recently ranked the Pirates top 10 prospects (not counting Pedro) http://postgazette.com/pg/08246/908643-63.stm. The new regime has brought in 4 out of the 10 in just this season. This isn't counting Moss or LaRoche either.

In closing, I can definitely understand the Pirates fans who don't want to sit through another rebuilding project. We've all heard this same song and dance before. 16 losing seasons in a row is inexcusable and embarrassing. The rebuilding wasn't done right under Cam Bonerfay and the nameless GM. I'm convinced that Coonelly and Huntington are going about it correctly. It's going to take time and it's not going to happen overnight but stick with these guys. They'll have the Pirates back to contention.

On a totally unrelated note, I would like to thank Bice for giving me the chance to write here even though he shits all over me. Not literally because that would be weird and gross. How is he in position to give fantasy football tips? Just look who wins. I still haven't figured out how I was responsible for Katrina and AIDS.

Until next time kids....