I Got Laid Off So WPXI Could Host A Stupid Party

As most know by now, I work at shitty McDonalds. I did have a nice job at WPXI for two months when they told me the economy was "too bad" to still employee me. So I took my shit and left with no hard feelings. But now I am a little pissed. It seems like WPXI has been hosting a ton of parties since I left. Maybe its because they know they are such a shitty station that they need to do somthing to make themselves look good. I dont know. But recently they hosted a party at some new night club called Dolce and also had Conan O'Brien in town. Click on the links to read the stories and look at all the douches that showed up just to say they could rub shoulders with a super bowl MVP and the new face of late night. I suppose its no suprise that a bunch of WPXI employees showed up. But regardless I'm bitter. You would think that a place of business would know how they are doing financially to determine if they could keep employees longer than two months. And I doubt that Conan just shows up for free. It may be in his contract to visit affiliates, but I doubt it. I am willing to bet money that they paid and made arrangements to have him come in. I dont see celebrities visiting other TV networks in the region. So that is my rant. Have a nice day!!!

There is a God. Shitney is OUT!

This Will be short and sweet. Ryan Whitney is gone (cue applause and fanfare)! If you have been a loyal follower of our blog here, you are well aware of my long standing hatred for Ryan Whitney. I hated him before it was the cool thing to do. It seems over the last few weeks people have been joining in thinking they were the first to be anti-Whitney. I Assure you they were not. I have hated him for quite some time. People called me crazy when I would say he is the worst defensive player on the team and makes more mistakes than a bum like Eric Godard (editorial note: if you are reading this Mr. Godard you are not really a bum please don't punch me in the face). One of my best friends and fan of the blog Sam has been a long hater of Whitney and I have to give him props for propelling my extreme dislike for him into the realm of pure hatred. Thanks Sam. So even if we didn't get much in return for him, anything is better than that ass clown. Hell, I would have taken Michele Oullet back for Whitney. I think it was a move to get a cheap decent player and some cap room to possibly bring in a big name with an even bigger trade. I'm interested to see how it goes before the trade deadline. We will keep you all posted. Until next time kids.

One for Antonio Alfonseca's Deformed 6th finger!

Santonio is running so fast because he heard Bones is on the prowl!

I know it's a lame title but we can't say one for the thumb anymore. Although that in itself didn't make much sense because rings usually don't fit on thumbs. They're too fat. Its science.

Anyways......

After teaching Sham Diego (you like that Bones?) the Steelers are but one game away from playing in their seventh trip to the Super Bowl. Standing in their way: The Baltimore Ravens.

Unfortunately, Ray won't be in jail, where he belongs, come Sunday.

Out of everyone in the AFC, the Ravens are the team I hate to see the most in the game. Not because they're a fierce rival and always give the Steelers a tough game but because the Steelers have already beaten them twice this year. This means that, whether they win or lose, some headline somewhere will say "Third Time's a Charm!" I can see this overused cliche showing up on ESPN but wouldn't be surpised if I saw it in the Post Gazette or the Tribune Review. I'm calling it right now and after the game I am going to find it and post the link right here on CGO!

Yes, I am an asshole!

In other news, some douchebag came into the pizza shop tonight wearing sunglasses. I wanted to punch him on the face. The I noticed he was wearing shoes with purple shoelaces so I murdered him. I'll probably be in jail soon so I may not be able to blog for a while. Oh Well.

Commercials I Hate: Let's Vent!

I hate pretty much everything about this commercial. Let's start at the beginning. Johnny Blue Shirt is casually sitting with his hand on his girlfriends leg while she's reading some bridal magazine. Too bad she'll soon discover her douche bag boyfriend likes men and her little dream wedding ain't ever gonna happen. But that's another commercial for another time. So they are sitting there, kind of awkwardly, when the phone rings. It's Brad and from the way Captain Asshat is talking on the phone, there's cause for concern that resonates all over the faces of the aforementioned Asshat and his girl. Asshat explains that Brad really needs to vent and his girlfriend promptly tells him he should go. Next Asshat shows up on Brad's doorstep and WAIT A MINUTE! This is a beer commercial. It looks like old Johnny Blue Shirt and Brad have managed to outsmart the unknowing girlfriend by saying he was going to vent. Well he wasn't lying, the vent he was referring to was on the can of shitty Coors Light. It's the perfect plan. Now Asshat and Brad can get tanked on their pissy beer and have sex with each other and the girlfriend is none the wiser. Apparently nowadays, men need to devise elaborate schemes to go do things with their friends. Lame.